


The Boss's Son

by brilliantbanshee



Series: 911: Lone Star AUs [2]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Contains most canon events, Drabble Collection, Firefighter Carlos Reyes, Gen, Introducing my OC Mya, Just left of canon, M/M, Meet-Cute, Now with some post season continuation!, Role Reversal, Secret Relationship, Tumblr Prompt, but with that special AU twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 07:48:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24347512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brilliantbanshee/pseuds/brilliantbanshee
Summary: Firefighter Carlos Reyes is thrilled to join the new 126, but things get complicated when he falls for the boss's son - APD Officer TK Strand.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Series: 911: Lone Star AUs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883908
Comments: 51
Kudos: 322
Collections: 9-1-1 Lone Star ▶ Carlos Reyes / Tyler Kennedy "TK" Strand





	1. The Boss's Son (Part One)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sadlyamundane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadlyamundane/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Firefighter Carlos Reyes was thrilled to have been selected to join the new 126. He was determined to prove that he was worthy of it; he had no intention of ever doing anything to even remotely jeopardize his place at the 126. 
> 
> Until a very attractive police officer who just happened to be the Captain’s son showed up, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to write something happy after the chapter of Brother (I will here you call) I posted yesterday so thank god I remembered I had this prompt from [buttercupstrand](https://buttercupstrand.tumblr.com/) sitting in my inbox. 
> 
> She requested a role reversal where TK is a cop and Carlos is a firefighter who falls for his bosses son. I hope I did it justice!

When Captain Strand had contacted him for an interview, he had hardly believed it was real. Captain Strand had moved across the country to rebuild the 126 and had made it very clear that he was only looking for the best. Carlos knew he was good at his job, but he never would have placed himself in that category. That hadn’t stopped him from attending the interview though. He had been pleasantly surprised by how approachable the Captain was. From the way people talked he had expected some egotistical blowhard. The man was a legend in firefighting circles - even all the way down here in Texas. The sole survivor of his station on 9/11, had rebuilt it from the ground up...somehow all the hype didn’t quite fit the man in front of him. This man was sensible, personable, and upfront. Carlos liked him instantly. 

They went over his record; over his commendations and scores. They were good, impressive even. But they were still not enough to have landed him here. Captain Strand spent the first few minutes doing the cursory review of his credentials before he put down his papers and met Carlos’s eyes. 

“Say what’s on your mind Reyes, I don’t believe in military protocol. You’re always allowed to speak freely with me.” 

“Sir, I am beyond flattered to have been asked here, to be considered, but I can’t help but wonder why.” 

Captain Strand raised an eyebrow, “You don’t think your record is impressive?”

“No, it’s good, it’s just,” he paused. He carefully considered how to phrase what he wanted to say, “it’s just that there a lot of good firefighters in AFD. Some might even be better. So why, out of the entire department, did you pick me?” 

The captain nodded, shuffling Carlos’s papers as he spoke, “I haven’t been in Austin long Reyes, but I’ve been here long enough to get a feel for the department, especially its gossip. The word around the department is that you are one of the most unshakable, emotionally intelligent people the department has ever seen. Your calm and composure in the face of panic and fire is actually kind of legendary. You’re good with people, exceptionally so. That’s what I want. Do you think you can bring that to the 126?”

Carlos wanted to say yes, he wanted to jump on the offer and never look back. But he felt that he needed to be completely honest with Captain Strand, to make sure he knew what he was getting into. 

“I feel the need to inform you, Sir, that I’m gay.” 

He waited, keeping quiet for the moment that he was sure would inevitably follow. He had never come out per se to his current station, but it had slowly become a known fact. Generally, people were - not fine with it exactly, but it had been a while since anything had been drawn on his locker. He wanted to think that the New York City captain would be open-minded, but he was unwilling to take the chance. If he was going to do this, if he was going to allow Captain Strand to include him in his dream team roster, he felt he needed to have all his cards on the table.

Captain Strand barely even blinked, “I know,” he said simply, “gossip, remember?” 

Carlos waited, but the other man said no more. 

“And, it’s not a problem?” 

Another raised eyebrow, “should it be?” 

“No,” Carlos said quickly, “no, I just...wanted to make sure you knew what you were dealing with. Not everyone is...fully comfortable with the concept.” 

Captain Strand scoffed, “I can assure you Reyes that I am fully comfortable with “the concept.” Now,” he said, sliding a contract across the table to Carlos, “does that mean you’re in?”

Carlos nodded immediately, eagerly taking the offered pen and signing on the line indicated. 

He had a good feeling about this. 

* * *

Their first day as a crew had been a pretty memorable one. The baby in the tree is not something Carlos had ever seen before, but there had been a happy ending and that was all he could ask for. The rest of the crew was pretty great too - Carlos could easily see himself becoming close with all of them. Captain Strand had invited them all to a honky-tonk bar to celebrate and toast to the new 126. So far, it had been good. They had chatted, had a few drinks, and now people were starting to spill out onto the dancefloor. Carlos was hanging back, watching as his Captain made his first attempt at line dancing, when an attractive stranger appeared at his elbow. 

“Hey,” he said. 

“Hey,” Carlos replied. He gave the guy a subtle once over. He was extremely good looking. 

“Wanna dance?” 

Carlos wanted to say yes, but not flaunting his sexuality with his old crew had become such an ingrained habit that he almost turned him away. But a quick glance around at his new crew filled him with a burst of confidence. These people were not the type to sit in judgment. If anything, they were the type to berate him for letting such a catch get away. 

“Yeah,” he said, a smile spreading across his face. 

If his heart gave a little flutter when the other man took his hand, who was he to say. If they ended up making out in the parking lot, who could blame them? If they ended up at Carlos’s apartment, putting his couch to very good use, that was nobody’s business but their own. 

And if he left the next morning without anything more than a number scrawled on the back of a takeout menu, that was okay too. 

* * *

The “mind your own business" model Carlos had grown accustomed to at his previous station was not going to fly here, that much was painfully clear. 

It had been a crazy start to their shift with 3 calls back to back, but now they were in the middle of a slow evening. Carlos and the rest of the crew were down in the engine bay completing their chores while Captain Strand was completing the paperwork. The moment the Captain was gone and they were free to talk amongst themselves, the barrage of questions had started. It had clearly not gone unnoticed that he had disappeared from the bar the night before, nor the fact that he had not left alone. 

And they wanted all the juicy details. 

“What do you mean you don’t know what he does?”

Carlos sighed, “I mean I don’t know. We didn’t exactly do a lot of talking.” 

Judd laughed and Marjan rolled her eyes. Mateo looked confused until Paul clapped him on the shoulder, “he means they just had sex Probie - and a lot of it if I were to take a guess.” 

Carlos studiously avoided their eyes, focusing on his task of polishing the light bar instead. He was beginning to realize that having a crew that actually took an interest in his life may not be the best thing to happen after all. Not having to answer all these questions back when his old crew hadn’t given a damn had been nice, in retrospect. 

“Did you at least get Romeo’s name?” 

“I did,” he responded, not looking up from the lightbar. 

There was silence for a few moments before Paul asked the followup, “And it is…?”

Carlos was saved the trouble of avoiding the question when the sound of footsteps caused them all to turn. When Carlos saw who it was, he nearly dropped his rag. 

Standing in front of them was a young police officer, who was looking just as surprised to see Carlos. “Carlos,” he said, “hey. I...didn’t know you worked here.”

Carlos could feel his teams’ eyes on him but he made sure to keep his voice as neutral as possible before responding. “Hi, TK. Can I help you with something?”

“I was just looking for your captain.”

Carlos nodded and gestured towards the stairs, “He’s up in his office, first door on the left.” 

TK nodded and flashed him a grin, “Thanks.” And then he was gone, walking towards the staircase and Captain Strand’s office. 

Paul’s gaze followed TK’s retreating back up the stairs. “Wasn’t that…?” 

Carlos nodded weakly, “It was.” 

Marjan frowned, “I wonder what he’s doing here.”

Carlos shrugged. They all watched as TK lightly knocked on the Captain’s door before letting himself in. They all watched as their Captain’s face lit up at the sight of the young officer and he strode around his desk to give him a hug.

“Well, they clearly know each other,” Judd noted. 

_Great_ , Carlos couldn’t help but think, _I go and have a one night stand for the first time in years, and he knows my new boss._

“They’re coming down!” Mateo whisper shouted and they all turned back to the rig, aiming to look like they hadn’t just been staring. 

“Everyone,” Owen’s voice, hearty and affectionate, floated down the stairs, “there’s someone I’d like you all to meet.” 

They all turned to see the Captain heading towards them, a beaming smile on his face and his arm around TK. As they drew closer he tightened the arm around the younger man’s shoulders, “This is my son, Officer TK Strand of APD.” 

Carlos could feel his team’s eyes on him, could see TK’s sheepish smile, but the only coherent thought he had at that moment was _fuck_. 

He was so screwed. 

* * *

The rest of the shift had passed without incident. TK had stayed for a little while, saying that he had just gotten off shift and wanted to meet the crew that his dad kept raving about. Watching him interact with his dad left Carlos feeling like he had just learned about a whole other layer to the other man. The Captain shared that one of the reasons he had accepted the offer to rebuild the 126 was because it would bring him to the same city as his son, who had moved to Austin a few months earlier. The two were clearly close and cared for each other a great deal. The fond smile TK gave his dad stirred something in Carlos - something entirely different from the feelings he had had the night before. 

Eventually, TK had made his exit, telling them all again how nice it was to meet them. When he left Carlos was pretty sure his gaze had lingered on him, but it had happened so fast he could have imagined it. As TK left and the Captain returned to his paperwork, Carlos threw himself back into his chores. He could feel the curious gazes of the others following him, but he really did not want to participate in any commentary on this epic fuckup. The universe was out to get him - that was the only explanation for this. 

Thankfully today was only a 12-hour shift, and it was done quickly thereafter. The others don’t push him to talk about what happened and Carlos couldn’t even begin to express how grateful he was for that. He doesn’t even know what he would have said if he did speak about it. He had managed to mostly push it out his mind while he was at work, but the minute he walks into his apartment, it’s all he can think about. 

He drops his bag and collapses onto his couch. He had spent so many years in the AFD minding his own business, being careful about who he dated. He had always gone out of his way to keep his personal life personal. He had never done anything like he had last night. Leaving a night with his crew to go home with some guy? That was a bridge he would have never crossed with his old crew. But the 126 didn’t care. He felt comfortable enough with them to step outside his comfort zone, to maybe enjoy himself for once. 

And it had come back to bite him in the ass, spectacularly so. 

He sighed and flopped back on the couch, running a weary hand down his face. 

His phone vibrated in his pocket and Carlos groaned as he removed his hand from his face to pull it out. He wasn’t really in the mood to deal with Michelle right now, but if he ignored her he would get an earful later. He fished out his phone, but the text wasn’t from Michelle - it was from TK. 

_Hey, can we talk?_

Carlos stared at the screen. He wanted to talk to him, but he didn’t know what there was to say. His phone vibrated again and another message appeared on the screen. 

_I swear I had no idea you worked with my dad. I had no idea you were even a firefighter. I never meant to put you in a weird situation._

As he read the second message, Carlos could feel himself relax a bit. He didn’t want to think that TK had tried to set him up, but the thought had crossed his mind. To have it denied was a weight off his shoulders. He thinking about a response when his phone buzzed a third time. This one was much shorter. 

_I’m sorry._

Before he could even think about it fully his hand was already moving and his phone was ringing. 

“Hi,” TK’s voice was nervous as he answered the phone, so far removed from the cocky persona he had met during their night together. 

“Hi,” Carlos responded. There was silence for a moment before they both started talking at once. They both stopped and Carlos chuckled, “you go first.” 

“I just wanted to say that I really had no idea you were on my dad’s crew. I really had no intention of making things weird for you, and I’m so sorry for the awkward encounter earlier. Dad has just been going on about his new crew and I wanted to meet everyone. I didn’t want to put you in a weird position.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Carlos assured him, “you had no way of knowing. I mean,” he cringed slightly as he spoke, “it’s not like we really talked a lot the other night.”

TK gave a nervous laugh, “No, I guess you’re right. We really didn’t. Can’t say I minded too much though. I think I would like to though; if you’re up for it.” 

There was silence again before TK hastily added, “If that would make things too weird for you, I get it.” 

Carlos remained silent. He wanted to see TK again, he really did. He wanted to take the time to get to know the other man. He wanted to spend more time with him, to talk to him. But there was still the undeniable fact that he was his boss’s son. Carlos liked the 126, and he knew there were a handful of other firefighters who would kill to be in his position. He didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. 

So he weighed his options in his mind; the smart one, and the one he actually wanted to make. Normally Carlos would make the smart choice without a second thought. It was what he did. But something about TK Strand made him feel a little reckless, a little more willing to throw caution to the wind. He had been making the smart choice for far too long, he decided; maybe now it was time to actually take his feelings into account. 

“How about dinner, tomorrow?” 

“It’s a date,” he could hear the grin in TK’s voice, and it made his heart beat just that much faster. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](https://brilliantbanshee.tumblr.com/) and send me more prompts! I love them and want to write them.
> 
> Honestly, I could write more about them. I have many additional thoughts about this AU, so if you're interested, I might just do that.


	2. The Boss's Son (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Firefighter Carlos Reyes and Officer TK Strand get to know each other a little better and fall a little harder for each other. But the course of true love never did run smooth – Shakespeare definitely got that one right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fair warning before you start, TK is a real dick in some of this and I'm super sorry about that.

Carlos grinned down at his phone as yet another message from TK popped up. He was apparently having a slow day at work, and if there was one thing Carlos had learned about Officer Strand it was that the man _hated_ paperwork. 

Hence all the texts complaining about it. 

_You know if you just did it, it would be done,_ he replied. 

A response popped up almost immediately.

_False. Paperwork breeds at an incredible rate. It’s like rabbits. Or amoebas. There is always more paperwork._

Carlos laughed aloud at that, drawing the attention of his crewmates who were sitting in the lounge with him. He hastily slid his phone into his pocket as their questioning eyes fell on him. 

“My sister,” he lied, “she was just telling me about my niece’s newest tactic to avoid naptime.” 

The others seemed satisfied by this response, though Paul gave him a raised eyebrow before returning to his book. Carlos resisted the urge to heave a sigh of relief and to check his phone, which was vibrating again. There was no reason exactly he couldn’t tell his crew about this thing with TK, but dating his boss’s son still felt taboo. It wasn’t a topic he was looking to approach just yet. 

Plus, dating might even be too strong of a word for what they were doing. No, whatever this was it was definitely not something he wanted out and examined under the microscope of his crew’s gossip just yet. Maybe not ever. They’d been out once, had hooked up...more than that. They texted during the day and called each other once in a while. It was good. Nice, simple. They were taking it slow. 

When Carlos was sure all the eyes were off of him he pulled his phone out of his pocket to see what TK had to say.

_We just got a call out, guess the paperwork will have to wait. What a shame._

_The paperwork doesn’t know what it’s missing,_ he sent back. 

_I think I’ll struggle through._

Yeah, Carlos reflected as he chuckled and slid his phone back into his pocket and picked up the magazine he had been idly pursing, it was going pretty well - whatever it was. 

* * *

The station alarms had blared shortly after his last exchange with TK, so Carlos was not all that surprised to see him when they arrived at the office building. He was surprised by everything else though, from the woman who had apparently jumped through a tempered glass window right down to the man TK was currently restraining from stabbing himself with a fork. In short, chaos. 

TK handed his charge over to an officer who had just arrived and met them at the door, nodding to his dad before starting with the rundown. “I was first on scene,” he explained curtly, “In addition to the jumpers, there have also been 4 people trying to stab themselves and various others that just feel generally unwell. We’ve cordoned off everyone still standing over there,” he paused to gesture over towards the cubicles beyond the conference table, “and out special response teams are on their way. You should also know that all these symptoms came without warning,” he finished grimly. 

Carlos exchanged a look with Marjan as he pulled out the chromatograph. It was standard procedure, but there was no way this was airborne. But he still needed to check because, on the off chance that it was, they could all be in serious danger. 

A quick scan confirmed his suspicions that nothing was airborne. Marjan nodded as he relayed the news, “if it were airborne there’d be 40 people down, not 9.”

“So what’s causing it?” he asked as he stowed the chromatograph back into its case.” 

TK shrugged as he walked past them, hurrying to help his partner with another victim, “that’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?”

The next few minutes were like nothing Carlos had ever seen before. He had been a firefighter for almost 6 years now, and while that may not be very long in the grand scheme of things, he had always felt that he had seen his fair share of strange happenings. This though was one for the record books. At one point he found himself next to TK, helping him to restrain a woman who was trying to dig her own veins out with her nails. 

“I bet that paperwork sounds pretty good right now,” he said lowly to the other man as Tim tried his best to bandage her arms securely. 

TK gave a dry chuckle, “I don’t know, it might be a tie.” 

Carlos rolled his eyes but lost his chance to respond when the woman tried to lash out again and he was forced to move around to get a better grip and prevent her from gouging Tim’s eyes out as well as her own arm. 

He was changing his gloves a few minutes later when TK popped up at his shoulder again, eyes narrowed as he watched Paul poking around by the conference table, “Why do I feel like he’s doing a thing?”

Carlos followed his gaze to see Paul examining the debris left over from the lunch meeting, “he’s totally doing a thing,” he confirmed. 

TK nodded and watched, not taking his eyes off of Paul even as he responded to his radio, confirming that yes, he really did want the building locked down. When Paul announced that he knew who did it, TK glanced at Carlos but followed Paul back to the conference table without a word. 

Carlos could see Paul reach for a sandwich and gingerly remove the top half of the ciabatta roll. His voice was grim when he announced, “mercury.” Carlos glanced over at Michelle, who did not look pleased to have her suspicions confirmed. He heard TK swear softly before speaking into his radio, “Dispatch, be advised we have a suspect in the incidents at 701 Brazos. Details for an APB to follow.”

Once he switched off his radio he turned to face the CEO, “I’m going to need to know everything about your catering today,” he said curtly, “including why someone from this restaurant would want to poison your entire staff.” 

The CEO looked baffled but began rambling off details about the restaurant and their catering contract. Carlos exchanged a glance with Paul, who was still holding the poisoned sandwich. His crewmate merely shook his head, replacing the top of the sandwich and setting it back on the tray. 

The next hour passed quickly. Now that they knew what they were dealing with, they knew what to look for and how to address it. It was well-controlled chaos, commanded by the combined brilliance of Captains Blake and Strand. Carlos clapped a hand on Michelle’s shoulder as they got the last of the victims loaded onto gurneys. “Nice work Chica,” he told her with a smile. 

She returned it, even if it was a bit strained. “I just can’t believe anyone would do this,” she said with a shake of her head, “what kind of person does this?” 

Carlos shrugged, “I don’t know, but I’m sure we’ll soon find out. It sounded like APD had a plan to draw whoever it is out.” He looked up to see Marjan gesturing for him to come over from the doorway. “I better go see what she wants,” he told Michelle, “I’ll see you later Chica. Remember, you did amazing today.” She gave him a grateful smile that he returned, before heading over to join his teammate. Marjan was impatiently waiting for him and grabbed his arm as soon as he was closer enough, dragging him behind her. 

“Come on,” she said as they headed towards the lobby, “Officer Strand needs our help.” 

Carlos was too stunned to ask questions, even if he had been given a chance to. Next thing he knew they were outside, waiting by the ladder truck. “What are we waiting for?” he asked. 

Marjan grinned, “We called in an order to the place where they got their lunch. We’re going to wait for the delivery guy here and as soon as we can confirm that he’s the one who did it, Officer Strand and friends will swoop in and arrest the guy.” She was practically vibrating with excitement. Carlos raised a skeptical eyebrow at her, “Adrenaline junkie much?” 

She didn’t even bother to deny it, they both knew it was true. “Oh c’mon Carlos,” she said instead, “do you want to help catch a killer? Or at least,” she added with a devilish grin, “see a certain police officer in action.” 

He rolled his eyes at her and sincerely hoped it was too dark for her to be able to see the blush creeping up his cheeks. He was saved the trouble of responding by a sedan pulling up. A man in a green polo with the restaurant logo embroidered on it climbed out, hands full of bags. He glanced down at the paper in his hand, “I’ve got an order for Ladder 126?”

Carlos spared a glance at Marjan who shrugged before walking towards the man. He adopted his “polite phone voice,” as his sister called it, and called out “That would be us, thanks.”

The guy grinned as he handed over the bags, “No worries, always happy to help out our first responders.”

Marjan flashed him a winning smile, “That’s so sweet of you. What would really be helpful though would be not poisoning people with mercury. It would save us a lot of time and trouble, you understand.” 

Carlos studied the delivery man as his face fell and fear spread across his features. He turned to bolt towards his car and Carlos was about to make a move to stop him when he heard TK’s voice ring out through the night air, “Freeze, APD!” Carlos tracked his voice to find him emerging from the shadows of the rig flanked by two other officers, gun drawn and expression serious. 

Carlos fully understood the gravity of the situation at hand. He was painfully aware that the man in front of them was responsible for the death of several people, and the injury of many others. He had seen the devastation that he had caused firsthand, but that did not change the fact that he could not take his eyes off of TK. 

He looked like an entirely different person. The person in front of him was a world away from the sweet and funny guy he had been getting to know. This man was focused and stoic. There was not a trace of his easy smile or quick humor. There was only determination and disdain for the person who could do this, could cause the destruction they had seen here tonight. 

It was really hot. 

Carlos wanted to feel bad for even thinking that at a time like this, but there was no denying that Officer Strand was sexy as hell. Carlos could think of a few ways they could maybe spice up their nights, but he pushed those aside. Appreciating the sight before him was one thing; fantasizing about his boss’s son on the job was entirely another. 

He turned and walked away, heading inside to begin packing up their equipment. The sound of the cuffs clicking on the wrists of the irate delivery man brought a smile to his face. This may be a disaster unlike anything Carlos had ever seen, but at least the man responsible would be facing justice and would never be able to do this again. 

Once the victims had been transported there was little to do but pack up. They did so quickly, and once they were back in the truck, Carlos pulled out his phone. He opened his messages and considered for a moment before he started typing. 

_Good work today Officer,_ he typed out. He paused for a minute but hit send. A response came almost immediately. 

_You didn’t do too bad yourself. See you tonight?_

This time, Carlos didn’t hesitate. He knew exactly what he wanted to say. 

_Count on it_. 

* * *

Carlos anxiously checked everything on the table one more time. TK was due to show up any minute, and he wanted to make sure everything was perfect. They had been keeping things casual, but Carlos would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that his feelings for the officer were anything but casual. He wasn’t sure exactly when it had happened, but he had fallen hard for TK Strand.

That realization had led him to another: he barely knew anything about the other man. He knew that he was a cop, he knew that he was from New York, he knew that he was his boss’s son. That was it.

Well, that and the fact that he was amazing in bed.

Still, it didn’t feel like enough. He wanted to know more about this guy that made his heart race. He wanted to make a real go of this thing they had, and this was the first step in that direction.

Grand gestures, right?

The knock on his front door startled him so badly he almost spilled the bottle of champagne he had just finished pouring into glasses. He set it down gently and crossed to the door, smoothing his shirt as he went. He opened the door only to have the other man latch onto him immediately, his mouth finding him and his hands sliding down his chest, pulling at his shirt.

Carlos smiled into the kiss, returning it with almost as much vigor. He let it happen for a few more moments, savoring the rush that he felt before gently pulling away. When TK made to follow him and continue, he put a hand on his chest and used the other to gesture towards the table.

“Why don’t we have something to eat first?” he suggested.

TK grumbled but allowed himself to be led to the table. He took the seat offered and gazed at Carlos with suspicious eyes as he rounded the table to his own.

“What is all this?” he asked.

Carlos settled into his seat, “I figured it would be nice if we actually spoke in person for more than 4 minutes at least once. Don’t worry, we can have mind-blowing sex later, but I’d like to get to know the person I’m sleeping with a little bit.”

“Why?”

The question was harsher than Carlos had been expecting. Actually, a quick survey told Carlos that TK’s body language was a whole lot more hostile than he had been expecting. He could feel himself stiffening in response. He hadn’t known how TK would respond to this, but openly hostile had not been on his list. He continued on though, picking up his glass of champagne. He looked significantly at TK’s glass, but he didn’t move. If anything, his expression hardened.

Carlos’s glass was still held aloft, so he trudged ahead. “To new beginnings,” he said, raising his glass. His heart sank when he saw that this was clearly a one-sided endeavor. He set down his glass and looked at TK expectantly, “Are you going to say anything? Maybe comment on the fact that I clearly spent time on this, or that the table is set well?”

He tried to lean into humor, to use it as a shield. It was a weak one as TK’s next words shattered it with one blow.

“I’m sorry,” he said tightly, standing up from the table, “I think we have clearly gotten our signals crossed.”

He stood up and was about to walk away, but Carlos wasn’t about to let this happen. “What, you’re just leaving?”

“We clearly want different things Carlos; I don’t see much point in staying.”

“Different…” Carlos couldn’t believe what he was hearing, what he was seeing, “it’s dinner TK, not a marriage proposal.”

Carlos knew it wasn’t his imagination this time when he saw TK stiffen.

“I thought I had been perfectly clear,” he said coldly, turning to face Carlos, “this is not what I wanted. I just hadn’t realized you were living in a fantasy. Sorry to say that I’m not in it. Actually, not that sorry, come to think of it.”

They stood in silence for a while, the echoes and ramifications of TK’s words bouncing around them. Finally, Carlos spoke, “I’m sorry,” he said clearly, deliberately, “if I wanted to take the time to get to know the guy I was spending time with. I’m sorry that I wanted to do this right, that I expected some buy-in to this relationship considering the risk I am taking in dating my boss’s son.”

When TK’s laugh came it, was cold and hollow.

“I don’t even know where to begin with all of that. Let’s start with the fact that no one asked you to date me. We were just meeting up, who cares that you work with my dad? Secondly – and I want to make this painfully clear – there is no relationship. It was just sex, nothing more.”

He was quiet after that, letting his words sink in. After a few moments, he shook his head, “I’m sorry you went through all the trouble, but this is not going to work for me. Call me if you ever feel like rejoining me in reality. Otherwise, lose my number.

And just like that, he was gone.

Carlos sank into his chair, mind reeling. What the actual _fuck_ had just happened?

* * *

“Goddamnit!” TK exclaimed as his coffee cup slid out of his grip and sloshed down the front of his uniform and onto the dashboard of the cruiser. He continued to grumble as he fumbled around in the glove box for napkins, growling in frustration when there were none.

He looked up from the disaster to find his partner, Mya, looking at him with raised eyebrows. “Who spit in your coffee this morning?” she asked. 

He rolled his eyes but she continued, “No, I’m serious Strand - you’re usually Mr. Zen. Everything happens for a reason, what will be will be - all actual quotes from you, by the way. What gives?” 

“Nothing,” he said tightly, “just didn’t get much sleep last night.” 

That much was true, at least. After he had left Carlos’s he hadn’t even been able to sit still. The moment he had stepped through the other man’s door he had regretted every single thing he had said. He had been awful. He had no idea what had come over him, but there was no arguing with the result. He had had one good thing, and he had ruined it. Just like he did with everything else.

“I’m guessing you don’t mean it in a fun way, because that usually puts you in a better mood.” 

He shot her a glare, to which she raised up her hands defensively, “Sorry, you’re normally much more open about it though. Some might even say too open. Not me, but some people. Who aren’t your partner; who cares about you very much, by the way, and would really appreciate it if you weren’t a dick to her.” 

TK deflated and cast his gaze down into his lap, “Sorry,” he said sheepishly, “I really didn’t mean to be a dick, I just had a really bad night last night.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I’d really rather not.” 

She hummed, “Fine, apology mostly accepted. Any ideas on how you could sweeten this deal and get yourself to a fully accepted apology?”

He rolled his eyes, “Lunch is on me?”

“There’s a reason we work as partners Strand, you get me.” When he didn’t respond she looked at him in concern, “Whatever this is has really got you down, huh?”

He nodded, “Let’s just say it was not one of my finest moments and I said some...really awful things.” 

“Can you fix it?” 

“Honestly? I don’t know.” 

She studied him for a few more moments before speaking again, “Would me telling you about how I ended up sneaking out of a date last week because she had pretty much planned our wedding by time appetizers showed up make you feel any better?” 

TK shrugged, “It couldn’t hurt.” 

“Well, I am not exaggerating when I say she even knew what color the bridesmaid dresses would be.”

“What color?”

“That is not the important takeaway here TK - but, yellow.”

“So it was a summer wedding, huh?” 

“I would be perfectly fine not sharing this story and allowing you to continue sulking in silence instead.” 

“My apologies, please continue.” 

They continued in this vein with Mya sharing the details of her date until their radio chirped to life. 

_Car 142, what is your status?_

Tk grabbed the radio, “Dispatch, Car 142 is available in the 400 block of Congress.”

_Copy. Robbery in progress reported in the 800 block of Congress._

TK looked over at Mya, who was already flipping on the lights. “Dispatch, do we have a description of the suspects? 

_Negative Car 142._

TK looked over at Mya who huffed in annoyance as she pulled away from the curb. “So what, we just hope they’re wearing ski masks?”

“Car 142 in route,” he relayed into the radio before turning to Mya, “We just do as we always do: proceed with caution and an open mind.” 

“Look at that, Mr. Zen is back. I’m glad my bad date was good for something.”

He rolled his eyes at her, “just drive.” 

The pulled up to the store in question within moments and they jumped out of the car. The door to the store flew open and two figures - wearing ski masks, ironically enough - raced down the street. TK and Mya took off in tandem, racing after the two figures. “Officers Strand and Esquilin in pursuit of two suspects on foot on the 800 block of Congress,” TK said into his radio, “requesting an additional unit to respond to the location of the robbery.” 

“ _Copy_.” 

With that TK released his radio and focused on running. He had one of them in his sights. The masked figure had a head start, but TK had speed and a lot of pent up frustration on his side. He was going to catch this guy. He was so focused on the figure immediately in front of him that he didn’t notice that the other suspect had disappeared. It was only Mya’s shout of warning that saved him from being hit by a pipe that the second suspect swung at him. 

He ducked just in time to avoid being hit in the head and stumbled as he did, crashing on to the ground. He had a split second to watch with horror as the masked figure readjusted and made to swing the pipe directly at his face before Mya caught up and collided with the suspect, knocking the pipe out of their hands and pressing them against the wall. She read them their rights as she cuffed their hands behind their back before looking over at TK with concern, “You good Strand?”

Tk nodded and pulled himself off the ground, “I’m fine, thanks to you. Nice save.” 

She shrugged, “I’m not the best partner around for nothing.” But even her teasing was tighter, less playful than normal. There was more she wanted to say to him, and once they had the suspect stowed into their cruiser she did, “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you need to get your shit together Strand.” 

He started to speak but she held up a hand to stop him, “No. I need to know I can count on my partner. Normally, I can. But this? We lost a suspect and you almost got yourself killed. I will always have your back TK, but I need to know that you’ll have mine and your own. I am not going to lose a partner because your head is too far up your ass to actually do your job. You would never have missed that or let that happen any other time. So whatever this thing is, you need to fix it - fast.” 

The stood quietly on the curb for a few moments before TK finally responded, voice quiet, “You’re right, and I’m sorry. I will figure this out, I promise.” 

Mya nodded, “Good, because I miss my partner. I want him back. He might be annoyingly optimistic, but he’s somehow my favorite person and I don’t like it when he’s upset and not himself.” 

TK rolled his eyes, “You’ve made your point, stop being so melodramatic.”

“You must be referring to your other partner, because I only speak the truth.”

“Sure you do,” TK chuckled, “why don’t we go and try to figure out what the hell happened here and then go see if we can track down the one that slipped away.”

Mya nodded, leading the way to the scene of the robbery, “And we’d better do it fast because someone still owes me lunch and I do plan on collecting, even if it is dinner time by the time we actually get to it.” 

* * *

They never did catch the guy, who it turns out was the one who had all the stolen merchandise and cash on him. The other guy wasn’t talking but did readily admit his involvement with the robbery as well as his attempt to take out a police officer. TK watched from the observation room as the guy refused yet again to name his accomplice. Whoever said there was no honor among thieves had clearly never met this guy. 

TK was still in the observation room when Detective Caldwell, who had been interviewing the suspect, entered. He nodded when he saw TK, “Your friend’s not talking, as you can tell.” 

TK shook his head, “I can’t believe I let the other one get away.” 

Caldwell raised a skeptical eyebrow, “I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure another guy coming at you with a pipe is a good reason to let the other one slip away. Don’t worry - we’ll find him.”

“Yeah,” TK nodded, hoping his voice sounded more certain than he felt, “you’re right.” He stood up to leave - his shift had ended an hour ago anyways - but looked back at the detective, “if you think I can help in any way, let me know.” 

“I appreciate the offer, but for right now the only thing I need you to do is get out of here. You kind of look you’ve been run over by a truck - no offense,” he added hastily. 

TK ran a self-conscious hand through his hair, “Thanks for that,” he replied sarcastically.

Caldwell shrugged apologetically, and TK just shook his head before waving goodbye and leaving the precinct.

* * *

He had tried to go home, he really had. But he just couldn’t settle. He was twitchy and unsettled; his mind was treating him to a greatest hits review of every fuckup he had made in the past two days. He just needed it to _stop_. He just needed his mind to be quiet – for just a moment. He needed his failures to stop shouting at him. He just needed to do something to quiet the chaos; to sever the loop.

He had sat in his car for a long time. He had tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, running through his options. He could go home, where he would end up pacing or staring at the ceiling for hours while his mind continued to spin. There were the old answers, but he refused to go down that path. He had sworn to both himself and his dad that he would never go down that road again and tonight was not the night to break that vow.

There were some less conventional options though, that deserved some consideration.

Those less conventional options are how he had ended up here, at the aptly named Lost Cause Bar & Grill. He knew the types that came here – he had responded to it often enough. He knew it would just be a matter of a few words to the right people and he would have the fight he so desperately craved. A few minutes to just blow off some steam, to mute the storm in his mind.

Even as he considered it, he knew how stupid it would be. If he went in there he would get caught. As welcome as the relief would be, the embarrassment of being arrested by his own co-workers, the disciplinary actions that would follow – he couldn’t risk it. He wouldn’t risk it.

Plus, Mya would absolutely murder him.

That thought brought her earlier directive to mind. _Find a way to fix this_ , she had said. He hadn’t been lying when he said he didn’t know if he could – how did you recover from that? Who would ever forgive him for the awful things he had said? Maybe he owed it to everyone involved to try. He swore in his empty car before turning it back on and putting it into gear; driving away from the bar and off to another lost cause.

* * *

He stood on the front step for a long time before he finally knocked. He had been looking for a reason to not do this, but he had run out. He was here, the lights were on – the universe wasn’t about to let him get out of this one so easily. He sighed and raised his hand to knock. Might as well face the firing squad head on and get this over with.

There was quiet for a long moment and TK hoped that maybe he wasn’t here after all. His wishful thinking was shattered when the door swung open, revealing a tired and surprised looking Carlos Reyes.

The quiet stretched into the night air until TK cleared his throat and finally spoke. “Hi,” he said sheepishly.

“Hi,” Carlos replied, looking at him skeptically. He stood in the doorway, blocking the entrance and waiting for TK to speak. But TK didn’t know what to say, didn’t even know where to start. After a few long moments of silence, Carlos crossed his arms; “if you’ve come here to be a dick again, I need to get to sleep. I have an early shift in the morning, so I’d appreciate it if–”

“I’m sorry,” TK blurted out, interrupting Carlos. The other man remained skeptical, but his posture relaxed ever so slightly. TK took that as a good sign and continued.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, “I know I was a complete dick the other night. I said some things I never should have said and…well, I’m sorry. I lashed out. You didn’t deserve that and it has been hanging over my head all day and I almost got myself killed at work today and now my partner is mad at me and I almost just did something really stupid. Like, career-ending stupid. And my job is all I have right now and I’m good at it and…”

“Woah, hey, slow down. Take a breath.”

Carlos’s expression was furrowed now, his eyes full of concern, “Why don’t we take this inside so you can take a seat before you fall over, and we’ll talk about this.”

TK clamped his mouth shut and nodded, following Carlos inside and taking a seat in the chair indicated. His leg was bouncing anxiously, his hand was methodically twisting the strings of his hoodie. Carlos settled into a seat across from him, still looking at him with concern. “I have so many questions and we are going to talk about everything you just said, but why don’t you start from the beginning,” he said calmly.

TK took a deep breath and tried to marshal his thoughts. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “For this, and for the other night. I freaked out on you and it wasn’t fair. I felt like I owed you an explanation. I don’t want any of it to come out like an excuse, but I do want to give you some context. If you never want to see me again after this I get it, and I’ll be gone. Just, hear me out first?” 

Carlos nodded, and TK took another deep breath. He started again, from the beginning this time.

“I have not had the best of luck in relationships, and I was bringing some of that residual stuff with me. Right before I moved down here, I went through a bad breakup, like nuclear bad. I did some things I regret after that, almost did some worse things. It’s the reason I moved down to Austin in the first place. I needed a fresh start. I pretty much looked a map and picked the furthest point from NYC with a police department that was hiring. I ran away. I ran away so I could have a fresh start – a clean slate. I was looking to start over, to try and rebuild my life on my terms, not anyone else’s. I wasn’t ready to do try that relationship thing just yet.” He paused here and glanced over at Carlos.

“So, when I saw you, I figured ‘what harm could come from a one-night stand with that insanely attractive man?’ And it was good – amazing, even. It was the best I had felt in a long, long time. I thought it would be something good, uncomplicated. Then I turned up at the 126 and you worked with my dad, and then we were doing this thing. It started to take on a life of its own, to slip out of my control and I didn’t know what was happening. Then you started talking about wanting to build something more and I panicked. You hit some triggers you had no way of knowing even existed, and I lashed out. You didn’t deserve that, and I am so, so sorry.”

He threw a tentative glace at Carlos, who seemed to be taking it all it. “Wow,” he said eventually, “that was…more complicated than I was expecting.”

“What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know, but not that.” They were quiet after that, Carlos processing and TK awaiting his verdict.

When he spoke, his voice was calm and deliberate, “Apology accepted.”

TK stared at him in shock, “just like that?”

Carlos shrugged, “I heard what you had to say, and it sounds like you have been through a lot. I understand that and it sounds like you were genuinely sorry. I can accept that. I have a lot of questions about all of that, but they can wait. I can tell that you mean it, so yeah; apology accepted.”

TK could tell that there was more to this than he was saying, “But?” he prompted.

“But,” Carlos began, "since everything went down, I’ve been thinking. I like this job, at the 126. I don’t want to do anything that could jeopardize it.”

TK nodded, his heart sinking. He had known that this was a very real possibility, but that doesn’t mean he was ready to hear it.

Carlos continued, “But I also like being with you.”

TK sat up at that, his heart beating faster. He waited, anxious to hear what else Carlos had to say – praying it was what he hoped to hear and shocked that it might actually be.

“I like spending time with you, and I like, well – you. But I am not signing on for this rollercoaster ride. If we’re going to do this, we are going to do this and make an actual go of it. We are going to be on the same page. We both have complicating factors, but if you’re willing to try to see this through, then I am on board.”

Carlos looked at him, clearly awaiting his response, but TK was still in too much shock to answer. Eventually, he managed to cobble together enough syllables to respond, “I’d like that very much.”

A grin spread across Carlos’s entire face and TK felt his heart swell. That smile was for him, and he didn’t think he could ever get enough of it. He wanted to jump right in, but the tactical part of his mind was nudging him, reminding him that going in without a plan would only get them both hurt.

“I think we should establish some ground rules,” he said.

Carlos nodded, “That would be for the best.”

“Number one then: don’t tell my dad. Not that he would care,” he added hastily at Carlos’s dismayed look, “hell, he’d probably be thrilled. He clearly thinks very highly of you and he’s never liked anyone else I’ve ever dated before. But I think it would be easier on both of us if we figured this out without an audience. Are you okay with that?”

Carlos considered, but nodded, “I don’t love the idea of keeping anything from my captain, but I think you’re right. We should figure out what this is first before we make any announcements. I feel pretty strongly about rule two: we actually get to know each other. A "real go at this means" an actual relationship, which means talking. I want to know things about you, I want you to talk to me. If that’s not what you’re looking for than I don’t know how this is going to work.”

TK nodded, “That’s fair, and I think it leads us to rule three – communication. This one is probably more of a reminder for me than anything, but we need to talk about things. We need to make sure we are on the same page.”

Carlos grinned, “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

TK grinned back. Just the sight of Carlos’s smile created a warm feeling inside of him, just being here felt comfortable. Some part of him still felt the fear of this new unknown, but more and more of him was falling under the other man’s spell.

“So what now?” he asked.

“Tell me something about you.”

“Anything?”

Carlos nodded. TK considered, and grinned, “Fine, to prove to you how serious I am, I will tell you something. You will only be the second person in all of Texas to know this – the other is my father.”

Carlos raised an eyebrow, “Well don’t leave me hanging.”

TK grinned and stood up, crossing the room to stand in front of Carlos. He stuck out his hand, “Tyler Kennedy Strand, nice to meet you.”

Carlos looked at him incredulously, “Seriously?” When TK nodded, he burst out laughing. He stopped abruptly a moment later though, looking at TK with wide eyes, “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean—”

TK rolled his eyes, “No, you’re right, it’s ridiculous. Why do you think I never use it?”

Carlos chuckled again and stood up to meet TK eye to eye, “Well, Tyler Kennedy,” he began, his voice full of humor, “it’s very nice to meet you.” He reached out and grabbed the offered hand.

They stood there, hands clasped, in the middle of Carlos’s living room for much longer than necessary. TK savored the feel of this moment; the warmth, the ease. There was something about this firefighter he mused; something that about him that made everything else feel lighter, less gray. His head was still telling him it was too soon, that he should proceed with caution. It wasn’t the right time to jump into something new.

But his heart was screaming at him to take this plunge, to see how this played out – complications be damned.

For once, TK actually listened. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at them talking about their problems like responsible adults, I'm so proud of them. 
> 
> This is also about twice the length I expected, but what are you gonna do??
> 
> Some parts of this may seem kind of jumbled and I'm sorry but there has been a lot going on this week (generally in the state of the world but also in my personal life) and that definitely made this harder to write than it usually would have been. I am enjoying this though and do plan to have part 3 up next week - probably on Friday again. 
> 
> Let me know what you think. And if you want to talk to me about the chapter, the AU, Mya (I love her a lot) or just generally anything, come find me on [tumblr](https://brilliantbanshee.tumblr.com/).


	3. The Boss's Son (Part Three)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Firefighter Carlos Reyes and Officer TK Strand have been going strong, growing ever closer. But it’s still a secret. TK is the son of Carlos’s boss after all. Taking things slow; keeping them private - it makes sense. But life doesn't always agree, and sometimes fate has other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last - the final part!

_Dinner tonight? I’m cooking._

Why _does that feel like a threat?_

TK scoffed at the response. I _can cook!,_ he typed back, _You’re not the only one with skills._

_TK, I’ve seen your kitchen. I don’t think anything has ever been cooked in there. Nothing edible, at least._

_Rude._

_But true._

_...fine. Take out at my place?_

_It’s a date._

“Alright, I’ll bite,” Mya said as she plopped down into the chair next to his desk, “who have you been texting all morning that has you looking like that?”

“No one,” TK said quickly, sliding his phone under the paperwork he was supposed to be doing. 

Mya raised a skeptical eyebrow, “Well, I hope No One has a hot lady friend because I need myself some of what you have going on.” 

“Mya,” TK hissed, glancing around the squad room. She simply rolled her eyes, “please, it’s not like everyone doesn’t already know. You’re not exactly subtle. The only thing we can’t figure out is who this mystery man is. Want to clue your partner in?”

“I like to maintain an air of mystery,” TK replied, making a show of shuffling his paperwork and picking up a pen. “Now if you don’t mind, I have paperwork to do.”

Mya scoffed as she got up from the chair, “Fine, keep your secrets. I’ll get it out of you eventually.”

“Good luck with that,” he called after her as she headed to her own desk. Once she was gone he slid his phone out from under the paperwork. It vibrates as he does so, and he picked it up eagerly expecting another message from Carlos. He felt the slightest bit of disappointment when he saw it was not Carlos after all, but his dad. 

_Want to meet for dinner tonight? There’s a Paleo place on Lamar I want to try._

TK felt a bit of guilt swell up. Between work and stolen hours with Carlos, there had been little time to see his dad. 

_Sorry,_ he replied, _I’m busy tonight. Soon though._

A few seconds later his dad’s response popped up, _I’ll hold you to that. I’m pretty sure I saw you more when we lived on different ends of the county than I do now that we’re in the same city._

TK read the message and sighed. His dad certainly knew how to pile it on, _How about tomorrow?_

_I’ll hold you to that kid._

TK grimaced as he slipped his phone into the drawer of his desk, turning his attention to his paperwork. He really felt that they were making the right choice in figuring out what they were and how it would go before sharing it with everyone, but that didn’t make keeping it from his dad any easier. 

* * *

“What do you think?”

Paul considered for a moment before replying, “I think it needs more chili powder.”

Carlos rolled his eyes, “That’s your answer to everything.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”

Carlos shook his head but did shake more chili powder into the pot. He stirred it again and take a taste. When he didn’t say anything, Paul gave a smug smile, “I was right, wasn’t I?”

Carlos ignored him, instead turning towards the dining area, “Hey guys, dinner’s done.”

Paul chuckled but helped Carlos to carry the food to the table, where they were met by the rest of the crew. They settled down to eat in silence, the only sounds the clatter of silverware and glasses. Marjan was the first to speak, “Why do we have anyone else even on kitchen detail? Between Reyes and Strickland, we’re guaranteed to eat gourmet every night.”

“Nope sorry, we are not your personal chefs,” Paul said flatly.

“Oh c’mon, why not show off your talent?”

“Yes, but with everyone cooking, you appreciate our cooking just that much more when it does happen,” Carlos reasoned.

Marjan rolled her eyes at him as another voice sounded from the other end of the room, “haven’t you ever heard of too much of a good thing Marjan?”

They all turned to find Captain Strand walking towards them, settling into the empty seat at the table. He made no move to grab a dish and Carlos frowned at him, “You not eating Cap?”

Owen shook his head, “No, I grabbed some lunch while I was out for my meeting today. Smells good though.”

Something in his voice caught Carlos’s notice and he was sure there was more to the story. But it wasn’t his place to pry into his captain’s life – especially not when he was keeping secrets of his own.

As if to remind him, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He surreptitiously pulled it out and glanced at it under the table.

_The tornado watch has been updated to a warning, be careful out there today_ , TK had texted.

_Always am_ , he sent back, _Same goes for you too._

_You know me, careful is my middle name._

_It is not, Tyler Kennedy._

_I regret telling you that._

Carlos grinned at his last message and was about to type out a teasing response when a loud crash from outside jolted him back to reality. They exchanged glances around the table before getting up and grabbing the turnout coats and heading into the torrential rain.

The rain was coming down so hard it was difficult to even see a few feet in front of him, but Carlos squinted and was able to make out the sight of Mateo dangling from the banner above the bay door. He shook his head and went to help Judd lift up the ladder so Mateo could climb down. He was about to ask the Probie if he was okay when he happened to glance down the street.

Apparently, the warning had been pretty accurate, because there were four separate tornadoes spinning through downtown. He froze, and Judd walked into him, nearly toppling him.

“Damn Reyes, what’s…” but Judd trailed off as he saw what Carlos was looking at. “Shit,” he swore instead. Carlos could only nod.

Owen joined them, “Judd, Carlos – you must have some experience with this. What is the protocol?”

“Protocol is def con 1. We don’t get out asses killed so we can save everyone else’s asses later.”

Carlos nodded, “Batten down the hatches and ride it out. It’s going to be a long shift.”

Owen nodded, “Alright team, you heard them. Let’s get inside and ride this out.”

Carlos pulled open the door to the station and ushered everyone inside. Once everyone was in, he took one last look at the tornadoes before pulling the door shut tightly behind him.

Today was going to be a very long shift. His phone buzzed again, and he pulled it out.

_Apparently “warning” is Texas speak for they’re already here. Stay safe please, and call me later?_

Despite everything, Carlos had to grin at that. _Count on it_ , he texted back. Maybe today wouldn’t be a total disaster after all.

* * *

TK didn’t bother knocking when he arrived at his father’s house. He simply used the key his dad had given him to let himself in. 

“Dad?” he called as he entered, “are you here?” 

His heart was thudding in his chest. He had called Carlos at the end of his shift to see how their day on the ground had gone only to be told that his father had insisted on going into a partially collapsed house only to have it collapse on him all the way. Carlos assured him that Owen was fine, but nothing short of seeing his dad with his own two eyes was going to quell the racing of his heart. 

“Dad?” he called again as he headed towards the kitchen. 

“In here!” Tk breathed a sigh of relief as he heard Owen’s cheerful response and turned the corner to find his dad mixing his quinoa salad. 

He smiled when he saw TK, “I hope you don’t mind, but I decided I didn’t want to go out tonight so I just threw together whatever I had in the fridge.” 

TK didn’t answer. He was too busy examining his dad for any sign of injury from the day’s events. When he got close enough, he pulled his dad into a tight hug. Owen made a surprised noise but didn’t resist, returning the embrace almost immediately. When they pulled apart, he gave TK a concerned look, “You okay kid?” 

TK took a deep breath, pushing down the urge to yell at him, “I’m fine, how are you? I hear a house collapsing on you is not exactly recommended for your health.”

Owen froze, “How did you hear about that?” he asked. 

It was TK’s turn to freeze. How _had_ he heard about it? It’s not like he could say Carlos told him. 

“The rescues were all over the news dad, the only thing they’ve shown all day is tornado recovery.”

Yes, good. That would work. He had been largely too busy to watch any of the coverage, but he was banking on the fact that his dad had been too. 

It seemed to as his dad nodded, looking slightly chastened, “I’m fine, I’m sorry I had you worried.” 

TK rolled his eyes, “I’m always going to worry about you dad, it’s my job.”

“Well it is also my job to worry about you, so I guess we’re just going to have to live with it.” 

TK shook his head fondly, before nodding towards the dinner, “Looks good, anything I can help with?” 

Owen shook his head, “I’m all set, actually. Do you want to change first, or are you still expecting to be on duty during dinner?” 

TK looked down at himself with vague surprise. He had rushed out of the precinct so fast after his conversation with Carlos that he had completely forgotten he was still wearing his uniform. “Give me 3 minutes to change?” 

“Clock starts now,” Owen said over his shoulder as he reached into the cupboard for glasses. TK grinned and grabbed his bag from where he had dropped it and headed to the bathroom to change. He made quick work of changing, carefully folding up his uniform and placing it back into his bag. He paused at the vanity to give himself a quick once over when an item on the counter happened to catch his eye. He frowned as he glanced at the solitary pill bottle. As long as he could remember, his father’s bathroom had always been littered with various bottles of hair care vitamins and supplements. To see only one bottle next to the sink is so foreign that TK can’t stop himself from reaching for the strange, lonely pill bottle. 

It’s clearly a prescription, but it looks nothing like the supplements he has grown used to seeing. He glances at the label: granisetron. He frowned at it. That wasn’t any medication he was familiar with. He was about to pull out his phone to google it when his father’s voice drifting from the kitchen snapped him back to his senses. What was he doing? This was his dad’s home; Owen might always go out of his way to assure TK that he should always consider it his home too, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was about to go snooping into his father’s private business. No, he would ask his dad about it. It was only fair to give him the chance to explain. 

He replaced the bottle and left the bathroom with a heavier heart. Maybe it was nothing, but every fiber in his being was screaming at him that this was far from nothing. 

Owen looked up as he reentered the kitchen, “I was starting to think you’d gotten lost, what happened to 3 minutes?” 

His tone was light and teasing, but TK couldn’t bring himself to lighten up. He had stopped at the threshold of the kitchen, examining his dad anew. He seemed the be the same as always. Maybe he looked a little more tired or drawn than usual, but a 24-hour shift during a tornado was no joke. He needed to just ask the question. If he didn’t it would weigh on him all night. 

“Dad,” he started, “can I ask you something?” 

Owen glanced up from where he was setting the table, surprised, “Of course you can. What’s up?” 

TK spoke slowly, deliberately, making a conscious effort to keep his voice even. “When I was in the bathroom just now, I noticed a new prescription bottle - granisetron? Is everything okay?” 

Owen froze, and TK’s heart sank. So, it wasn’t nothing. It was definitely something. 

When Owen looked up and met TK’s gaze, his eyes were sad. “We should sit down first before we talk about this.” 

TK dropped his bag again, moving slowly towards the table, feeling like he was on a funeral march. He was hyper-aware of everything as he crossed to the table; he had a sinking feeling that after this conversation, nothing would ever be the same again. 

* * *

To say Carlos was surprised when there was a knock on his door in the middle of the night would be an understatement. 

He had just gotten off the phone with his sister (after already having spoken to his other sister and his mother) assuring her that yes, he was perfectly fine after the tornado and receiving reassurances that yes, she was fine too. They all were and Carlos was beyond grateful. He had just been debating whether to turn on the TV for a bit or to just go to bed when the knocking started. He frowned, glancing down at his phone for the time. What could anybody possibly want at this hour? 

That initial confusion was nothing compared to the confusion and panic that he found when he opened the door to reveal a disheveled TK on his doorstep. The man just looked defeated. His usually perfectly styled hair was a mess, his eyes were red with the unmistakable signs of recent tears. Carlos’s heart ached. 

“TK,” he asked, “are you okay?”

TK shook his head and Carlos cursed at himself for asking such a stupid question. “Are you hurt?” he asked, his heart pounding. 

TK shook his head again, “Can I come in?” he asked softly. 

Carlos stepped aside and shut the door behind him. He watched TK walk over to the couch and drop onto it, settling with his head in his hands. Carlos crossed the room and sank onto the couch next to him, gently. 

“What can I do?” he asked softly. 

TK’s voice was muffled by his hands, but the pain that leaked through almost shattered Carlos’s heart, “Can you just sit with me?” 

Carlos nods, blinking away tears of his own, “As long as you need.” 

He sank further into the couch, closer to TK. TK leaned into him, and Carlos hesitantly wrapped his arms around him. He half expected the other man to shake him off, to push him away. Instead, he leaned into the embrace, burying his face into Carlos’s neck. Carlos felt the neck of his shirt growing wetter, but he said nothing. He simply sat, rubbing gentle circles on TK’s back. 

At some point, they would talk. He would ask TK to tell him what was wrong, he would ask what he could do to fix it. They would discuss whatever this problem was. But for now, they would steal this quiet moment. The rest of the world had almost been swept away today, but that was outside. Here, in this embrace, they were safe. 

Carlos was intent to keep it that way, for just a little longer. 

* * *

“You’re starting to freak me out,” Mya declared from the driver’s seat. 

TK looked over at her abruptly. “What do you mean?” he asked, brow furrowed in confusion. 

“I mean, you’re being really quiet and you look like someone kicked your puppy. It’s very unlike you.”

TK sighed and ran a hand down his tired face, “Sorry, I just had a long night last night.” 

Mya raised a skeptical eyebrow. “I feel like we’ve had this conversation before,” she said, “and I remember it being under very different circumstances. Besides, I thought you were meeting your dad last night?”

“I did.” 

This brought a smile to Mya’s face, “and how is my favorite Strand?”

TK rolled his eyes. His father and Mya had met each other exactly once but had taken an instant liking to each other. Ever since then they had been talking to each other through TK, even though he had offered multiple times to give each other their numbers. They had both declined however; apparently harassing TK was part of the fun. 

“He’s good, he…” TK swallowed, trying to find the rest of the words. His dad was not good. His dad was sick. He couldn’t bring himself to say otherwise. It felt like tempting an already tenuous fate. 

Mya was studying him, “Something’s wrong,” she observed, “are you going to tell me?”

TK shook his head, “It’s not my secret to tell.” 

Mya was still gazing at him, her expression soft, “I don’t want to pressure you, but you should know that carrying something on your own is a huge burden. Just know that if you decide to tell me, it won’t leave this squad car. I want to be able to be there for you TK, it’s what partners do.”

TK nodded and they lapsed into silence. He knew he should tell someone. Mya was right - holding this alone might prove to be too much. If he wanted to be there for his dad, maybe it was for the best to bring someone else in. 

“My dad has cancer,” he blurted out. The silence that followed his words seemed so much louder than usual. With a start, TK realized that he had never said, had never even heard those words aloud. He hated them. 

Mya whipped her head around. They made eye contact and she exhaled, “Shit,” she said softly, “I am so sorry. What...I don’t even know what questions to ask.” 

“It’s lung cancer,” TK provided. 

Mya’s expression grew even darker, “He doesn’t smoke, so...from work?” 

TK nodded, “9/11.” 

“Shit,” Mya said again. She leaned back into her seat and glanced back over at him, “I’d ask how you’re doing, but that seems like a stupid question. Is there anything I can do?”

TK shook his head, “just, don’t tell anyone yet. I don’t think he’s even told his crew. He needs more time to process, I think.” 

Mya nodded, “My lips are sealed, don’t worry about that. Damn TK, I am so, so sorry. If you think of anything else I can do…” 

TK gave her a smile, a real genuine smile, “Well, now that you mention it, I am kind of behind on my paperwork...” 

She leaned over at swatted at him and he laughed, before growing more serious again, “Seriously though, I do appreciate it. Thank you.” 

“Anytime.” 

There was silence for a few moments before Mya spoke again, “So...I’m the first person you’ve told. I suppose that means that Mr. Mystery Man is still in the dark?”

“That’s...complicated.”

Mya opens her mouth, probably to lecture him on how “complicated” is an overused and weak excuse, but he is mercifully saved by the sound of their radio. 

_Car 142, what is your status?_

Mya sends TK a look that promises this conversation is not over as he grabs the radio, “Car 142 available in the 200 block of Brazos.”

_Copy. Robbery in progress reported at 199 East 4th St. Subjects is reported to be a lone robber wearing a ski mask._

TK and Mya glanced at each other for a split second before Mya put the car into gear and pulled away from the curb. “Think it’s our friend?” she asked as she drove.

TK shrugged, “I think it’s a decent possibility. Here’s hoping the universe is on our side today.” 

They lapsed into a tense silence for the remainder of the short drive, quickly and quietly jumping out as soon as they reached the location. They headed inside, silently motioning for the civilians they encountered to exit. The found the store in question - a small, high-end jewelry store. Through the windows, they could see the man in a ski mask smashing through the display cases while scared civilians cowered behind the counter on the far side of the room. TK studied the man. Even from this distance, he could tell that it was the robber he had let get away. His heart rate quickened. 

“I’ll enter from the front, get his attention,” he whispered to Mya, “you go around the back and come up from behind and use the element of surprise. You good with that?” 

She nodded, clapping him on the shoulder before rising up to make her way around. “Just be careful.” 

“Always am,” he quipped. He saw her roll her eyes, and then she was gone. He took a steadying breath and stood up, swiftly moving towards the room. He slid open the door and made his way to the center of the room with barely a sound. Once he was within a few feet of the suspect, he announces his presence. “Austin PD, put down the hammer.”

The suspect froze, hammer pausing mid-swing. He turned around to see TK standing in front of him. He looked him up and down, seemingly considering his possible actions. TK kept talking. He just needed to distract him long enough for Mya to get in from the back. 

“Put the jewelry down, slowly, and step away from the display case.”

Unfortunately, the suspect did neither. Instead, he pulled his arm back, gathering momentum to fling his hammer at TK’s head. He began to swing the weapon forward but halted mid-swing. 

“Nice try,” Mya said as she pulled the arm she had caught down towards the other one before fastening the cuffs. “But you’ll have to be better than that to get past us this time.” She looked over the suspect’s shoulders at TK, “at least a flying hammer would have been a new one.”

TK shook his head at his partner even as he chuckled. He moved away from her and the suspect, heading towards the witness to start getting statements. They finally had the guy, and no one had gotten hurt in the process. Maybe things were looking up after all. 

* * *

The more time Carlos spent with his new crew, the more he came to appreciate them. They were all such genuinely good people, better than most he had met in life. There was also something about the way they just _clicked_. He couldn’t explain it, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. Somehow, he had found a family when he wasn’t looking; he wasn’t about to go and over analyze the how or the why. Sometimes the mysteries of the universe were better left just at that.

Carlos had formed a unique relationship with each and every one of them and he counted himself as lucky for that every single day. But there was no denying that he had grown closer to Paul than the rest. There was something about the other man and how he interacted with and saw the world that complimented how Carlos lived. Maybe it was their sense of humor, their ability to read people, or maybe it was just that they had bonded over time spent in the kitchen and a mutual love of food. Whatever the case may be, Paul Strickland had quickly become someone that Carlos trusted with his life and cared for with his whole heart.

Maybe that was why this was so hard to watch, he mused as he watched Paul walk away after Josie’s rejection. He never wanted to see his friend in any kind of pain, but this was a pain he knew. Maybe their circumstances had not been the same, but Carlos couldn’t help but be reminded of all those years with his old crew, feeling the need to hide who he was; to not ever put himself out there for fear of ridicule or possibly even retribution. He knew the kind of courage it must have taken Paul to take that leap, and he knew how much it must have hurt to have his fears proven right. He couldn’t just let him sulk in this alone – he needed to find a way to help him out.

He leaned against the counter, sipping his coffee as he considered. Suddenly it came to him. He had an idea that might do the trick, but he was going to need some help.

He pulled out his phone. Sending a text to TK was becoming more and more like muscle memory, he noted, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be upset by that. Maybe it was a sign of wishful thinking, but Carlos liked to think of it as a sign of things to come.

He sent his text to TK and grinned down at his phone. Maybe pulling in the other man was a little self-serving, but Carlos had never claimed to be perfect.

* * *

TK was intently filling out his paperwork when a light knock on his desk caused him to look up. Detective Caldwell was standing in front of his desk, a file folder in his hand. 

“Nice job on that arrest today,” he said. 

TK shrugged self-consciously, “Right time right place I guess.”

Caldwell nodded, “Maybe so, but you still handled yourself well. You and Esquilin both did. That confrontation could have gone very differently, but you both kept a cool clear head and kept everything calm. Honestly,” he paused and glanced surreptitiously around the bullpen, “I’m happy it was you two who got the call. Not everyone in the department has the same talent for keeping a cool head that you two do. I wish there were more like you guys - it would make me feel a lot better.”

TK simply stared at the older man. He had no idea what he was supposed to say to any of that. He cleared his throat, “thank you sir, that means a lot.”

Caldwell smiled an easy smile, “Just keep up the good work, and pass it on to your partner, will you? I’d like to tell her myself, but I can’t seem to find her anywhere.”

“I will,” he assured the detective. As he walked away TK, stared after him. Mya was absolutely not going to believe this. 

His thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of his phone. He picked it up and smiled when he saw a message from Carlos on the lock screen, _I have a plan, want to help?_

He grinned, _I am always up for a good scheme, count me in._

_Good,_ said the reply, _meet me at the station at 9?_

_See you then,_ he responded, grin growing even wider. Yeah, today was definitely looking up.

The rest of his shift flew by and by the time 8:50 rolled around he was almost walking on air. He had changed at the station and was parked at the 126, waiting for Carlos. He grinned as the other man walked over, getting out of his car to meet him. He met him at the passenger’s side door with a kiss. The firefighter returned it eagerly but looked at him with raised eyebrows when they pulled apart.

“Playing with fire, Strand?”

TK waved off his concerns, “There’s no one else out here and besides, my dad’s car isn’t even here. Anyways, how can I help myself when you walk up looking like that?”

A light blush brushed Carlos’s face as he leaned against TK’s car. TK followed suit, gazing at him. Once again, he asked himself how he could be so lucky. How did he manage to find someone like Carlos?

Carlos smiled at him; a soft smile that lit up his eyes, “You’re in a good mood.”

TK hummed in agreement, “How could I not be when I get to spend time with you?”

Carlos rolled his eyes at that and let out a snort, “That was cheesy, even for you. How was work?”

“Work was good, we got that guy.”

Carlos stood straighter, eyes wide, “The robber that got away?”

TK nodded and Carlos gave an impressed whistle, “I bet that’s quite a story.”

TK nodded, “it is, but I want to know what this plan of yours is first. What are we doing here?”

A mischievous grin spread across Carlos’s face and made TK’s heart race just a bit faster, “You know Paul, right?”

TK nodded, and Carlos continued, “He just got rejected by a girl that he really liked and is really down about it. So, I thought that we could take it upon ourselves to cheer him up.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Rain on 4th.”

TK raised an eyebrow. Rain on 4th was a popular club, but it held a firm position within the lgbt community. He wasn’t really sure it would exactly be Carlos’s straight co-worker’s cup of tea. “You sure that’s where you want to take him? There’s plenty of other places in the Warehouse District.”

Carlos shook his head, “He’ll be fine there.”

TK still had his doubts, but he trusted Carlos. Besides, he certainly knew his co-worker better than TK did, so he would defer to his expertise. He simply nodded. Carlos gave him that smile again, and TK wanted nothing more than to kiss him senseless. The arrival of a confused Paul squashed that moment, however.

They arrived at the club shortly after. They entered and TK savored the feeling of the bass thrumming through his body. He liked Austin, but sometimes it was nice to find a little bit of New York in the Lone Star state. When Carlos threw an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close, he knew that the increased thrum of his heart was not from the music this time. When they danced closely, he knew that the tingling of his skin had nothing to do with the cold air. When they ended up on the patio, Carlos’s arm around him and his head on the other man’s shoulder, he pondered that maybe it was time to come clean to his dad, to have this thing out in the open.

Because TK was pretty sure he knew how he felt for Carlos now, and he didn’t think he could hide it anymore.

* * *

When Owen came clean to the crew about the cancer, Carlos had a sudden flashback to a devasted TK on his doorstep and knew that one blank had been filled in. His heart went out to both of them: he had come to greatly respect Owen Strand as both a captain and a person. He didn’t deserve anything like this.

Then there was the matter of TK. Carlos’s feelings for him were decidedly different, and while he didn’t know the whole story, the bits and pieces of breadcrumbs and hints he had collected during his time with TK told him that the man had not had an easy time of it. That one of the reasons he had made it as far as he had was his relationship with his dad. He knew the two were close. The thought of TK facing the possibility of losing his father made his heart ache for the other man. 

He knew the others felt betrayed by the news. Honestly, he couldn’t blame them. To know that Owen had known before he had even moved to Austin, before he had asked Marjan and Paul to uproot their lives and careers, was a tough pill to swallow. Especially in the face of Billy Tyson. Carlos was familiar with the other captain. He was part of the old guard; one of the ones who championed the pseudo “don’t ask don’t tell” policy Carlos had lived by before joining the 126. He knew better than most what Billy likely thought of this crew Owen had assembled; what was at risk if Owen had to give up the helm. He couldn’t blame them for their hurt, their outrage.

That didn’t mean he supported the battle that was beginning to take off in the kitchen.

He observed his crew members in this fresh environment. He had spent time with them, had gotten to know them; but to seem them in the face of a shock and upheaval unearthed a whole new layer. Paul projected his fear and feelings of betrayal with anger. He lashed out at anyone unfortunate to get close enough, he spoke strongly about how what Owen had done was wring. Carlos couldn’t begrudge him his upset, but he was escalating the situation.

Marjan was calm and quiet in her outrage. Her empathetic heart led her anger not towards their captain but to the disease, to the circumstances. She spoke calmly; rationally in defense of Owen’s actions but Carlos could tell that she also had some reservations about his actions. She defended the captain from Paul’s anger though, reminding him that as much as he could have done things differently, he was a victim here as much as they were.

Mateo showed his outrage through fear and sadness. He spent the time Marjan and Paul were arguing putting away the dishes with a dark look on his face. As soon as he was called on to contribute, the damn broke and his fear showed through. A glance at the others told Carlos that they were feeling it too. Mateo’s outburst was a reminder that no matter what else was happening, the life of a man that they had all come to care for and respect was on the line, and no amount of strategic discussion was going to make that okay.

It wasn’t until later on that Paul got Carlos to break his silence on the matter. “You’ve been in the AFD for a while,” he noted as he spotted Carlos on the bench press, “what do you think of Billy?”

Carlos chose his words carefully, “I’ve met him in passing, but I don’t know him well enough to really say.”

“C’mon man, you’re good with people. What’s your read on him?”

Carlos sat up in the bench and shrugged, “He was friends with my old captain, so he came by every now and again, but that was truly the only interaction I ever had with the man. Everything else I know is all based on department gossip.”

Paul stared at him for a long moment, “And…?” he prompted.

“And,” Carlos continued warily, “like my old captain, he’s…much more traditional than Owen, for sure.”

“By traditional you mean…?”

“Suffice to say there’s a reason I never really shared much about my personal life with my old crew, especially my love life.”

Paul dropped onto the bench next to him and swore. “If he takes over, it’s not going to be good for us, is it?”

“No, I imagine it wouldn’t,” he confirmed softly. “Hey,” he continued as Paul got up and began to pace agitatedly, “don’t go borrowing trouble. We don’t know what’s coming. Even if that did happen, I don’t think the deputy chief is going to be as easily swayed to fire us. He’s a fair man, he’ll make sure our contracts are honored.”

Paul shook his head, “That’s only a part of the problem, and you know it. Sure, we stay in the AFD, get transferred to a new station. I’m sure you know better than most that they’re not all havens of inclusivity like what we have going on here. You’ve already experienced it firsthand – are you sure that’s what you want to go back to?”

Carlos looked down at the ground. No, it wasn’t; but if this did happen, what choice did they have? He was a firefighter – he couldn’t see himself doing anything else. He would just have to suck it up and struggle through. He had done it before, he could do it again.

He said as much to Paul, who shook his head. “I wish I had your optimism,” he said ruefully. Carlos chuckled.

“Trust me,” he assured the other man, “it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

* * *

TK was sitting through another round of Mya’s new favorite game – 20 questions to figure out who TK is seeing – when dispatched called on the radio.

“Thank god,” TK muttered lowly as he reached for the receiver. Mya had been getting too close for comfort with her last few questions. She was only a few moments away from figuring out that his “mystery man” as she referred to him was a firefighter, and that was not a conversation he was looking to have just yet. “This is Officer Strand,” he said into the radio.

_Officer, how close are you to 7 th and Channel?_

TK glanced out the window, peering at the street sign as they drove by, “close.”

_Okay, we’ve got a possible 10-62, home invasion on 843 Channel. Homeowner is Bruce Ackerman, 46. Proceed with caution._

TK glanced over at Mya, who nodded and took the next left, bringing them towards the address. “10-4,” he said to dispatch before replacing the radio. They rode in tense silence before pulling up to the address in question. They jumped out, TK motioning that he would check to the left. Mya nodded and headed to the right. They found nothing suspicious and met at the front door where TK knocked, and a frantic woman answered.

“Did you find him?” she asked, voice anxious. TK and Mya shared another glance before Mya took a step forward, “Ma’am, we’ve had a call about a home invasion at this address. The call came in from a Bruce Ackerman, is everything alright?”

She nodded, “Bruce Ackerman is my husband, but he’s not here right now. That’s why I had hoped you were here – he’s been missing since early afternoon.”

“Missing?” TK asked, stepping forward to join the conversation. Mrs. Ackerman nodded, “He had early-onset dementia. He gets confused easily and sometimes wanders off, but never like this, never for this long.”

Her voice broke as she finished her sentence and Mya gave her a sympathetic look as she continued, “Okay Ma’am, I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you, but I am going to need you to give me as much information as you can so we can see if we can find your husband and get him home safely. Can you do that?”

Mrs. Ackerman took a deep breath and nodded. TK gave a significant look to Mya before heading back to the cruiser to update dispatch on the situation. “Dispatch, negative on 10-62 at this location. The caller, Bruce Ackerman, was reported missing by his wife at 3:00 this afternoon, subject of a silver alert. Mr. Ackerman suffers from early-onset dementia. Wife says he sometimes wanders off, though he’s never been gone this long before.”

There was a pause before the radio chipped to life again, _Officer Strand, is Mrs. Ackerman with you?_

“She is.”

_Okay. Ask her is 1940 Birchwood Avenue means anything to her._

TK turned and called back to Mya and Mrs. Ackerman, who froze at the mention of the address. “Yes,” she said slowly, “that was the address of our first home. But we haven’t lived there in almost 15 years. Why? What’s going on?”

“We’re just trying to gather as much information as possible to try to find your husband Ma’am,” TK assured her. He turned away and spoke into the radio again, “She says it’s the address of their first home. They haven’t lived there in 15 years.

There was quiet on the line as they all waited. Eventually, a new voice spoke over the radio.

_Officer Strand respond to the 1940 Birchwood Ave address with Mrs. Ackerman, if she is willing. Mr. Ackerman is on the line with one of our dispatchers and heading out of the home. Proceed with caution._

TK looked over at Mya and Mrs. Ackerman to confirm that they had heard. Mya nodded at him and Mrs. Ackerman was already pulling the front door closed behind her. “10-4 dispatch,” he said into the radio, “we’ll be there shortly.”

* * *

Owen switched off his radio and turned to address the crew in the back of the rig, “the incident has been resolved. The home invader has been released into the custody of his wife and the homeowners aren’t pressing charges, but we now have a cardiac patient on scene. These people have been through a lot tonight, let’s get in and do everything we can as quickly as we can. Copy?”

“Copy Cap,” the rest of the crew responded.

“Man,” Paul noted from his spot in the front, “a home invasion with a dementia patient that became a cardiac event? Are we sure it’s not a full moon?”

“Let’s just hope that it’s smooth sailing from here on out,” Carlos replied. Something about this was putting him on edge. He had a bad feeling about this call, and he wanted to get it over with and get back to the station as soon as possible.

They lapsed into silence after that and arrived at the scene shortly after. They piled out of the truck and began to gather their equipment. Carlos grabbed the battering ram while Marjan and Mateo secured their medical supplies. They began to file towards the house. As they walked Carlos noticed TK and his partner by their squad car. TK was speaking into his radio, glancing over at the 126. He turned to his partner, and after a brief discussion he called out for Owen to wait.

The crew paused and TK jogged over to them. “There’s been a gun reported on scene,” he explained, “so Officer Esquilin and I will go in with you and clear the scene first. Stay behind us.”

They all nodded and fell into step behind the two officers. Everyone except for Owen, that is. He walked side by side with them, saying something to Officer Esquilin in a low tone that had her suppressing a laugh and TK rolling his eyes. Both the officers turned serious however as they reached the hallway. They led the way to the bedroom, where they stood on either side. Carlos glanced down at the battering ram in his hands, wondering if he should offer it somehow, but Officer Esquilin was already announcing their presence. “Austin PD!” she called out.

The voice of a scared woman responded, “Please, help us!” TK and Officer Esquilin exchanged a brief glance and a nod before she stepped back and TK stepped forward, raising up his foot to kick in the door.

What happened next came in a blur. In the moment, Carlos couldn’t have told you what happened. It all happened so fast. The moment would haunt him though, and after night after night of seeing it play in his nightmares, he could tell you every second, every heartbeat, every breath.

There was a loud bang. Carlos first thought it was the sound of the door hitting the opposing wall, but three things happened simultaneously that changed his mind: one – the horrified gasp from the woman inside the room. Two – the way TK’s stride hitched, the way his body began to slump as he gripped the doorframe for support. Three – the bright, red splatter of blood on the wall behind their heads.

And then TK was falling, and Carlos could feel his world tilting right alongside him.

He went to lunge to catch him, but Owen beat him to it. His hands reached desperately for his son, doing everything he could to slow his descent. The pair crashed to the ground, a pile of tangled frantic limbs. He vaguely registered the commotion around them; Michelle pushing the others aside so she could get to TK, Officer Esquilin disappearing into the room with a worried gaze thrown over her shoulder, the rest of the crew hovering; desperate to know how they could help, but unwilling to get in the way. TK may not be a part of their crew, but he was family to them (and so, so much more to Carlos).

Michelle calmly relayed orders to her team and the crew, but Carlos could tell that she was feeling the stress too. Her voice was much tighter than usual, her brow furrowed. Carlos stayed by TK’s side, more thankful than ever that Michelle was a good enough friend that even though he had never told her, she knew, and she didn’t send him away. She sent some of the others to help Nancy with the cardiac patient and Carlos breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t think he could have forced himself to leave if he had to.

Officer Esquilin emerged from the room shortly after, a small revolver and a handful of bullets clutched in her hand. She was pale and shaky as she knelt down next to TK. His breathing was labored; every breath seemed like a monumental effort and a victory. The sound of his gasping breaths filled the hallway and shook Carlos to his core. She looked him up and down before making eye contact with Owen. They shared a look of fear and worry. She reached a trembling hand to his face, speaking softly as she did. “You don’t get to leave me like this TK,” she said in a tremulous voice, “you do not get to die on me understand?” TK locked eyes with her and she smiled, “You don’t get to get out of telling me who this mystery man is that easily.” He blinked at her before his eyes started to close.

“No, TK, keep your eyes open. Stay with me son!” Owen’s voice was frantic – full of a panic Carlos would have never thought the other man capable of. TK forced his eyes open. He pulled his eyes from his partner to his father. He tried to speak, but blood poured out instead.

“His lung collapsed,” Carlos heard Michelle say, “we need to intubate.”

As horrible as the sound of TK’s breathing had been, the sudden absence of it was far, far worse. The silence ate at them all; Carlos felt it steal the breath from his own lungs.

A hand landed on his shoulder and he turned to find Paul giving him a look that spoke volumes of understanding. He motioned to breath and Carlos did. He forced himself to breathe deeply, to focus on the fact that Michelle was the best at what she did and she would do everything she could to keep TK alive. It was better than focusing on the fear in his captain’s eyes or the racing of his own heart.

The next thing he knew they had TK on a gurney, rushing him towards an ambulance. Owen tried to speak to Judd, but all that came out were jumbled words until Judd gave him a gentle push in the direction of the gurney. “Go,” he said firmly, “be with your boy. We’ve got everything under control here.”

Owen clamped his mouth shut and nodded. He took a quick glance around at them all, and then he was gone. The cardiac patient was next. He was wheeled out by Nancy and Marjan and loaded into the second ambulance that had just arrived. Officer Esquilin slipped out shortly after, muttering something about paperwork as she angrily brushed tears from her eyes and it soon it was just the 126 left in the wreckage of the hallway.

They glanced around at the carnage: at the blood-splattered wall, at the medical scraps, at Carlos. He could feel their eyes on him. He knew that his reaction had not gone unnoticed. He knew that they knew.

“He’ll be alright man,” Paul said softly. Carlos nodded stiffly. They were still looking at him. He supposed they wanted an answer, or a comment. He supposed they expected some sort of explanation or reply. He didn’t have one though. He didn’t know how to explain this thing that he had with TK; he didn’t even know what this thing was.

He didn’t know what was going to happen now, and that terrified him.

So instead he straightened up and pulled out his old shield. Pre-126 Carlos Reyes never let what he was feeling show, and he slipped back into that skin like an old sweater. “Let’s get this cleaned up and head back to the station,” he said as he moved to do just that. He ignored the looks and the unspoken questions that hung heavily in the air. He ignored them right along with his own aching heart. The answers to their questions weren’t here, and neither was the thing that hung so heavily on his heart.

Carlos wasn’t entirely sure he believed in God, but he wasn’t willing to leave this to chance. So as he picked up the scene he sent a plea to the universe as a whole – don’t let this be the end of TK Strand.

They still had a story to write, after all.

* * *

TK was falling, that he knew for sure.

But this falling was different than any he’d ever done before. It wasn’t the kind of falling that came with drugs, it wasn’t the kind that came with tripping. It wasn’t even the kind of falling he felt with Carlos – though that was by far his favorite kind.

No, this falling was different. This was quick and fast; painful and loud. There was noise and commotion and he couldn’t follow any of it. There was a pain in his chest, in his lungs, in his throat as he tried desperately to pull up air to breathe. There was panic and fear. He didn’t know what was happening, but he didn’t like it. There was Mya, her bright eyes shining with tears. No, that wasn’t right – Mya didn’t cry. But here she was, face pale and eyes red, lips forming words he couldn’t hear. His dad was next to him, hovering in and out of his line of vision. There were no tears there, but there was a wild panic. He was frantic, shouting words that TK couldn’t decipher. He wanted so badly to reassure him, to tell him everything would be okay, but he had never liked lying to his father. He felt the trembling hand that carded through his hair and leaned into the touch, to the small comfort that it brought him. The pain was still burning with a white-hot fire, but the touch was grounding, familiar. Somehow, he managed to control a limb long enough to place a hand on his father’s arm. It was the only solace he could offer, he hoped it brought him some comfort.

There was another pair of eyes now, pushing into his field of vision and drawing his own gaze to them. It was Carlos – his warm, brown eyes glistening with unshed tears. His mouth was set in a firm, hard line, but those eyes always betrayed his stoicism. TK could see the fear and panic in them even with his rapidly fading sight. He could see the compassion, and it made his heart ache with a pain that was unrelated to the one intent on burning its way through his chest. He tried to say his name, to tell him it would be okay, but judging by the metallic taste that followed, all he had succeeded in producing was blood. It wouldn’t be long now.

This falling had an end. He could tell that now, as darkness grew ever closer. This falling might be the end. He wasn’t ready. There was still so much more to do, so much more to explore. His dad needed him; he couldn’t face cancer alone. Mya needed him; he couldn’t leave her without a partner. Carlos…well, maybe Carlos didn’t need him, but he needed to see where this thing would go because he was pretty sure he was in love with the other man. He wished he had said it.

He supposed it would have to be a secret now, that followed him into the darkness.

* * *

Captain Strand was speaking softly and running a tender hand through TK’s hair when Carlos entered the doorway. He froze, not sure how to proceed from here. His captain turned around and Carlos didn’t know what to say. They made eye contact for just a moment before Owen gave him a sad, knowing smile and pulled himself up from the chair. 

“Why don’t you sit with him for a bit,” he asked gently, gesturing to the now vacant chair. 

Carlos swallowed hard, “I don’t want to impose,” he said, trying his hardest to keep his voice clear of the tears he knew were threatening to fall. 

Owen shook his head, “I think he’d want you to. I know I would feel better if you do - give him another reminder of someone who cares for him.”

Carlos looked at him, searching his expression. He didn’t see any traces of anger or resentment at being lied to; mostly fear, and overwhelming love. “You knew?” he asked softly. 

Owen nodded, “I knew. Gossip, remember?”

At Carlos’s downcast eyes he patted his shoulder gently, “Don’t worry Carlos, I’m not mad. I get why you didn’t come out with it right away. I know that this has probably not been an easy road for either of you, but I’m glad you found each other. I’m so happy my boy found someone as good as you.” 

Carlos couldn’t find any words, he simply stared at his captain - at his boyfriend’s father. He swallowed again, pushing down the tears once again. They wouldn’t be denied much longer. 

Owen seemed to realize the same thing. He patted Carlos’s shoulder again and began to exit the room when Carlos spoke again, “I’m glad you know now. I - we - didn’t like keeping it from you.”

Owen turned and looked from Carlos back to TK in the hospital bed. He seemed to age 10 years each time he looked at his son. “I’ll forgive anything, as long as he wakes up,” he said softly. With a shake of his head and another fatherly squeeze of his shoulder, Owen was gone and Carlos was alone.

Well, not quite alone.

He moved slowly towards the bed, taking in everything as he walked. He couldn’t believe how _still_ TK was. TK was never still. Not for one single moment in all the time that Carlos had known him. Which, he reflected bitterly, didn’t actually say all that much. Sometimes it felt like they had known each other for a lifetime. But in reality, it had only been about five months. That wasn’t enough time.

It certainly wasn’t enough time for him to feel this way.

At least, that’s what the logical, sensible part of Carlos’s mind said. But, as had happened more and more these days, his heart spoke louder. This time he had with TK had caused that; never before had he ever been so impulsive, so driven by his emotions. It excited him, but also terrified him. Following a heart could lead you to trouble; following a heart could get you hurt.

Looking at where he was now, he couldn’t deny that.

He sank into the chair Owen had vacated, reaching for one of TK’s still hands with his own trembling ones. He grasped it tightly, bringing it forward and placing a soft kiss on it.

“You know,” he joked quietly, “if you wanted to tell your dad, you didn’t have to be so dramatic about it. You could have just asked.”

There was no response, but Carlos hadn’t really expected one. He was still a realist, after all. He could feel tears forming in the corners of his eyes, but he angrily brushed them away. He continued talking, “The cat’s fully out of the bag now sweetheart, and I need you to wake up. You can’t leave me here to be the only one with answers, that’s not just fair.”

The teasing sounded flat, even to his own ears. He switched gears, going for sincerity instead, “I’m not ready to lose you, Tyler Kennedy. I don’t think I ever will be, but definitely not now. I want to see where this goes; I want to find out how much more I can love you. Because I do, love you, that is. More and more each day.”

Still no response. Carlos squeezed the hand tighter and didn’t try to stop the tears that fell this time, “Please,” he said softly.

The quiet of the room is broken by the sound of hurried footsteps. They pause at the door, but Carlos doesn’t look up until a voice cuts through the din of the machines. 

“So, you’re the mystery man.”

Carlos looked up to see TK’s partner standing in the doorway. She looked tired and worried, but there was still an edge of mischief in the small smile she gave him. 

He sat up in his seat, hastily wiping his eyes. “Officer Esquilin,” he said, “would you like me to give you some privacy?”

She waved his offer away as she crossed the room to the other chair, “No, you should stay. I know I’m a good partner and all, but I am quite sure he’d rather see your face when he wakes up than mine. And it’s just Mya, please.” 

“Carlos,” he said, “and I hope you’re right. I’m not sure how he’ll feel about this thing being revealed when he didn’t have any say.”

Mya shrugged, “It’s not like the fact that he was seeing someone was a secret, we would have found out eventually. Besides, if he has a problem with you being here, he’s a bigger idiot than I thought and he’s going to have to deal with me. I’ve got your back on this Carlos - we the people who care for and tolerate TK Strand need to stick together.” 

Carlos chuckled, but it was hollow. “I don’t even care if he’s mad at me,” he admitted softly, “He can never want to see me again, as long as he wakes up. I think I could handle the broken heart - I couldn’t handle losing him completely.” 

Any trace of humor left Mya’s face. She leaned forward, placing her hand on top of TK’s still one. “He’s going to wake up,” she said firmly, “because if there is anything I know about TK Strand, it is that he is too goddamn stubborn to let something like a bullet stop him. He should also know that if he does die on me, I will never rest until I find a way to bring him back just so I can kill him myself.” 

“Why do I not have any trouble believing that?” 

“Because you’re a smart man Carlos, and we’re going to get along just fine.”

* * *

Eventually, the falling stops. At some point, he lands, and not where he thought he would. Along the way, there are sounds and sensations; familiar voices, soft touches. There are words that he can’t quite make out from voices he can’t quite place. There are shadows and memories, and then, suddenly, there is light.

He opens his eyes and panic overwhelms him. He is in a hospital. Why is he in a hospital? Did he relapse, did he overdose? Was he hurt at work? Was Mya okay? He doesn’t know what’s going on, and it terrifies him. He’s about to let the panic overwhelm him when suddenly there are gentle hands on him and a familiar voice.

“TK, you’re okay. Breathe son, everything’s fine. You’re safe.”

Dad. “Dad?” he croaks out.

The relief on Owen’s face and in his voice is palpable, “Yeah TK, it’s me.”

“What happened?”

His dad settled onto the side of the bed, “What do you remember?” he asked.

TK frowned, pushing himself to remember. “I was at work,” he said uncertainly, “there was a call about a home invasion that wasn’t actually a home invasion. And then…nothing.” He tried to sit up but failed. He sank back onto the bed with a pained gasp. Owen placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “You’ve just woken up from a coma after being shot,” he said softly, “try to take it easy with the sudden movements.”

TK eyes widened, but the residual pain reminded him to keep still. “Coma? Shot? What happened?”

“You and Mya responded with the 126 to a cardiac event at the end of the home invasion because there was a gun on scene. When you breached the door, the homeowner’s grandson shot you with his grandpa’s gun. He was scared and thought you were intruders.”

TK stared at his father in disbelief. “Is the kid okay?” he asked, “is Mya? Was anyone else hurt?”

Owen shook his head, “The kid seems to be doing as well as can be expected, still in shock and worried about you. I’m sure he’ll feel much better knowing you’re awake. As for everyone else, they’re fine. No one else was hurt. Mya is fine, she’s been stopping by as often as she can. Actually, the only person who’s been here more than her is a certain member of my crew that I think you need to tell me something about.”

TK froze and looked at his dad. He was trying to keep a stern face, but his eyes were shining with humor. TK groaned, “I am never going to hear the end of this, am I?”

Owen patted him on the knee with a chuckle, “No, I don’t think you will. Not for a while at least.” His expression grew more serious as he continued, “he’s been here so often I don’t think he’s actually seen his own bed in days. I tried to order him home, but apparently he’s been taking lessons from Marjan in insubordination.”

TK could feel his face growing warm and looked down at his blanket, picking at a loose thread. “Are you going to tell me how long that’s been going on?”

“A few months,” TK replied softly. “We didn’t mean to lie to you, we just wanted to see where things were going to go before we brought everyone else into it.” He looked up to meet his dad’s eyes, “Are you upset? Because if you are, don’t blame Carlos. It was my idea not to say anything. He didn’t like the idea.”

Owen shook his head, “I’d rather you didn’t keep things from me, but I’m not mad. You’re both adults and you were doing what you thought you needed to do. Besides, I like him, and I think you’d be good together.”

TK gave a soft smile, “I think we’re good together too,” he said. Owen smiled at him, “I’m happy for you son,” he said.

The tender moment was interrupted by a voice at the door, “Would you look at that, Sleeping Beauty has finally decided to grace us with his presence.”

TK rolled his eyes before he even glanced at the door, “I was shot Mya, would it kill you to be nice to me?”

“Maybe, but I don’t want to risk finding out. One if us having a near-death experience this week is more than enough, thank you very much.”

She crossed the room as she spoke, nodding to Owen before settling on the side of TK’s bed. Once settled, she reached over and lightly punched his shoulder. He made an indignant noise, but she held her ground, “you deserve that for scaring me half to death. A four-day coma, really TK? Getting shot wasn’t dramatic enough for you?”

Owen chuckled from his spot on the other side of TK’s bed. “It looks like you’re in good hands, and I have some phone calls to make now that you’re awake. Are you going to be able to stick around Mya?”

She shook her head, “I can’t stay long, but I think a certain someone should be here soon, so he’ll be in good hands.” Owen nodded at her and after giving TK’s knee an affectionate pat, he was gone, leaving the two partners alone.

Mya watched him leave before turning back to TK. Her expression was far more serious this time, “Are you really okay?” she asked sincerely.

He softened, “I am, really. I don’t even remember it.”

She shook her head ruefully, “Count yourself lucky then, it is not something I am going to forget for a long time now. I,” her voice broke and she swallowed before trying again, “I really thought I had lost you for a minute there.”

TK reached out his hand and she grasped it, squeezing it tightly. “I have no intentions of going anywhere,” he assured her. She nodded, a weak smile forming on her face, “good, because breaking in a new partner is too much work, and I kind of like the one I’ve got. I think he might even be my best friend; it’d be a shame to lose him.”

TK smiled at her, “Weird, I think I might feel the same way about this partner that I have. What a coincidence.”

Mya shook her head fondly before they fell into easy conversation. She was catching him up on the various happenings at the precinct when something from behind them caught her eye.

“Oh, and one more thing,” she declared as she stood up. At TK’s questioning look, she broke out into a grin, “I finally solved the mystery of the mysterious boyfriend, and I think I deserve some credit for that – or at least the right to say I told you so.”

Before TK could ask her what the hell she was talking about, a familiar chuckle sounded from the doorway and TK could feel his heartrate increase.

“Humble as always Mya,” Carlos’s voice said. TK looked around to see the man himself standing in the doorway. Their eyes met and TK was nearly overwhelmed by the force of the emotions he felt through that gaze. Mya snorted.

“And you two are being gross, awesome. I guess this is something to get used to now. You know Reyes, I think I liked it better when you were an enigma.”

“Don’t even try to kid yourself Esquilin, you like me.”

Mya shrugged as she shouldered her bag, “Don’t get too cocky – the jury’s still out.” She turned back to TK, “I have to go to work now, but I’ll spread the good news that you’ve rejoined the land of the living. So you’ll probably want to prepare for some visitors tonight. Just, try not to go into another coma while I’m gone?”

TK gave her a mocking salute, “I’ll do my best.”

She rolled her eyes, “ass,” she muttered fondly. She headed for the door, patting Carlos on the shoulder as he passed him, “Take care of our boy Reyes.”

“Always.”

With one last look at the two of them, Mya was gone and TK and Carlos were alone.

“You two are already friends,” he noted as Carlos sat down, “I don’t know if that should make me happy or concerned.”

Carlos shrugged, “Probably a bit of both.”

TK rolled his eyes at him and Carlos laughed lightly, but abruptly sobered. He leaned forward in the seat, running a tender hand down TK’s face. “How are you feeling?” he asked softly.

TK closed his eyes, savoring the feel of Carlos’s hand on his face.

“Fine,” he said honestly, “sore, but fine.”

Carlos smiled at him, “I’m glad, you really had me worried there.”

TK’s smile slipped, “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

Carlos shook his head fiercely, “No, it’s not your fault, you have nothing to apologize for. I was just scared. We all were”

“Still,” he repeated, “I am. I never wanted you to have to go through that.”

Carlos shrugged, “We both have dangerous jobs,” he said evenly, “it was bound to happen eventually. I’m just glad you made it through.”

He smiled tenderly at TK, and he returned it. This man still made his heart flutter; it was a nice feeling – he hoped it never stopped.

They sat in companionable silence for a few more moments before Carlos cleared his throat, “I, however, have something I think I need to apologize for.”

TK raised a questioning eyebrow and Carlos continued, “As you may have noticed,” he started, “everyone knows. About us. It’s well and truly out of the bag now. And I know you weren’t ready for that yet and I don’t want you to be in a weird position and…”

“Carlos!” TK interjected. When he paused TK spoke again, “shut up,” he commanded gently. Carlos’s face scrunched in confusion, “Why?”

“So I can do this.” With that TK leaned forward to kiss him. Carlos leaned closer, deepening the kiss. It was tender and lingering and when the pulled apart, TK rested his forehead on Carlos’s.

He hadn’t been ready before, but now that it was out there, he couldn’t imagine doing anything else. He thought back to the realization he had had in the moment before his world faded to black. He knew that it was true, and he knew it wouldn’t change. Maybe this isn’t how he had planned for any of this to happen, but the universe had a funny way of getting you where you were meant to be sometimes.

As long as his place was here besides Carlos, TK could weather anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off - this was not supposed to be this long. This was supposed to be maybe half of this, possibly less. But they took over and I had very little say. This probably should have been at least 2 separate chapters, but I said 3 and I am nothing if not stubborn so 3 it is. 
> 
> Secondly, this is the end of the role reversal au! I'm pretty pleased with it but I would love to know what you think! Please take a minute to leave a comment if you have a chance. You have no idea how much they make my day. 
> 
> Come see me on [tumblr](https://brilliantbanshee.tumblr.com/)


	4. The Boss's Son (Part Four)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Firefighter Carlos Reyes and Officer TK Strand’s secret relationship is out in the open now, thrust into the spotlight when TK was shot. 
> 
> They’ve taken their time to regroup and heal, growing closer all the while. Now the recovery period is over things are going back to normal and they’re learning that there is no such thing as business as usual anymore. This experience has changed both of them, and now they have to find a way to live in this new reality. Thankfully they have each other, and that is the one thing they know for sure. 
> 
> \---
> 
> Tarlos Week Day 7: Writer's Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been playing with the idea of continuing this for a while now and I figured the last day of Tarlos week was a good time to try. It picks up a month or two after the end of Part 3 on the day of TK's return to work from medical leave. This took me ages to write, so I would be especially interested to hear what you think. 
> 
> Either way, this is the end of Tarlos Week for me and I hope you enjoy!

TK tucked his shirt in neatly, before moving his hands to do up the last two buttons of his uniform shirt. If still fit just as well as it always had, but it felt foreign now; unfamiliar. It felt like a remnant of a different lifetime and in a way, it was. 

It had been over a month since that night and that call; a month since TK had kicked open a door and been shot by an 8-year-old. He could still feel the ghost of the bandage on his collarbone, could still feel the phantom pull of the stitches. He noticed that his hands trembled over the last button and he let it go, forcing them back to his sides, willing them to stay steady. 

He was fine, really. It was just desk duty. He wouldn’t be allowed back into the field until he had been fully cleared by a doctor and department psychologist. He could handle this. 

The most ironic part, he thought to himself as he examined himself in the mirror, studying his uniform for imperfections, was that before this he never would have thought for a moment that he might have even a moment’s hesitation about jumping back into the field. He became a cop to help people, and he didn’t see how he could do that from a desk. (There was also the mountains of paperwork to consider, but that was another matter altogether.) He had never been a very sedentary person - his father had often joked that he hadn’t seen him hold still since the moment he was born and one time he had the flu when he was 8. He had never thought that given the chance there would be any hesitation, any doubt in his mind that jumping back into the action was the right thing - the only thing. 

Now in the after, he was filled with hesitation. It wasn’t fear per se; and it had nothing to do with the actual pain and injury. It had everything to do with the people he loved and the hurt he had seen in them when he almost didn’t pull through. TK had always known the risks of his job, had always known there was a chance that something could happen to him. But until he had seen it, until he had known the effect that it had on the people he cared about most, he had never truly appreciated it. He didn’t want to put any of them through that ever again. 

A voice from the doorway interrupted his reverie, “still fits, huh?” 

He turned to find Carlos, also ready for work in his AFD uniform, sipping a cup of coffee as he leaned on the doorframe. 

“Like a glove,” he responded glibly. Carlos set his mug down on the shelf by the door and crossed the room so he was standing in front of TK. He studied him closely before reaching out a gentle hand to straighten his badge. TK watched as he trailed his fingers up from the badge to his collar, pausing almost imperceptibly in the spot where just weeks before a bullet had ripped through his flesh and almost ended it all. Neither of them said a word as Carlos pulled himself back to the present and continued his journey up to TK’s collar, straightening it with a gentle tug. 

“It’s just desk duty, Carlos,” TK said into the silence, “it’ll be fine.”

Carlos blinked and seemed to come back to himself, “Of course it will be.” But the smile he gave TK didn’t reach his eyes. TK reached down to find Carlos’s hand, still resting on his collar, and covered it with his own. “It’ll be fine,” he repeated using his other hand to softly lift Carlos’s chin so he could look him in the eyes, “I promise.” 

Carlos nodded again and this time his smile seemed more genuine. “Now _that_ I believe in.” 

TK returned the smile and leaned forward, capturing Carlos in a kiss. Carlos leaned into it and TK reached down to snake his arms around the other man’s waist, pulling him closer. He deepened the kiss, but Carlos pulled away, causing TK to let out a disgruntled sound. 

Carlos chuckled, “Sorry babe,” he said as he pressed a light kiss to TK’s forehead, “as much as I would _love_ to keep going with this, we both have to work this morning. Personally, I don’t think your dad would find this an acceptable reason to be late and am sure Mya will be waiting not very patiently for you at the precinct. 

“Spoilsport,” TK complained with a pout. Carlos chuckled again as he leaned forward to speak into TK’s ear. “Besides,” he began, voice low, “it would be a shame to wrinkle that uniform _before_ you go to work. We can save that for later.”

Then he pulled away, walking back towards the door to pick up his abandoned mug and exited the room. 

TK stood rooted to the spot, still standing in front of the mirror, dumbfounded. It was several moments before he was able to get words out. 

“You’re a _menace,_ Carlos Reyes.” 

* * *

“How’s Lover Boy’s first day back in the saddle?”

Carlos looked up from his phone to find Judd staring at him with raised eyebrows. “Must you call him that?” he asked drily. 

“Since you knew exactly who I was talking about, yes, I think I do.” 

Carlos rolled his eyes before returning his gaze to his phone. He could feel Judd’s gaze still on him. He ignored it for several long moments but when he realized the older man had no intention of stopping he sighed and looked up again, “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “He hasn’t sent me more than a mention that Mya says hi all morning and I don’t want to bombard him so I’m just...waiting.” 

“You’re not very good at waiting,” Judd noted. 

Carlos shook his head ruefully, “Don’t I know it. I mean,” he continued, “it’ll be fine. I have nothing to worry about. It’s desk duty. He’s fine. It’ll be fine.” 

“You know if I were to hazard a guess, I might say that you don’t believe a word you’re saying.” 

“I don’t know,” Carlos replied wearily, “I just...I don’t know.” 

Judd nodded sagely, “Glad we cleared that up,” he noted as he took a sip of coffee. 

Carlos was debating whether he needed to dignify that with a response or if a rude hand gesture would suffice when Paul entered the kitchen. “How’s TK’s first day back going?” he asked Carlos as he reached for a mug. 

“He doesn’t know,” Judd answered helpfully. 

Paul paused and looked frowned over his shoulder at Carlos, “How do you not know?” 

“TK hasn’t said much and he doesn’t want to keep texting him so he’s just waiting.” 

Paul nodded solemnly, “He’s not good at waiting.” 

“Do I even need to be here for this conversation to happen, or are you two good on your own?” Carlos snapped. 

Both Paul and Judd gave him pointed looks, “Someone’s feisty today,” Judd noted as he took another sip of his coffee. 

Carlos groaned, but forced himself to take a deep breath and put his head in his hands. After a few moments, he looked up again. “I’m sorry guys,” he said somewhat sheepishly, “I really didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just…” 

“Concerned?” offered Judd.

“Worried?” Paul suggested. 

Carlos nodded in agreement, “and I don’t really want to say anything to him about it because he looked a little freaked out himself when he was getting ready this morning. He doesn’t need my worries on his mind too.”

“I hate to break it to you man, but he probably already knows,” Paul informed him. 

Judd nodded his agreement, “You don’t exactly have the best poker face brother, especially not when it comes to your man.”

Carlos ran a weary hand through his hair. “You’re probably right, but I wish he didn’t know. I wish I were better at hiding it. He has so much on his plate, he doesn’t need my irrational fear too.” 

“I don’t know if I’d call it irrational,” Paul responded reasonably, “especially considering recent events.” 

Carlos turned to him with a raised eyebrow, “So it’s normal to be worried about my boyfriend the cop getting murdered at his own desk in the middle of a police precinct in broad daylight?” 

“No, I think that might cross into irrational territory,” Paul allowed. 

“Good to know I’ve got that going for me,” Carlos responded drily. 

He could see Judd and Paul exchanging looks, but they were saved the trouble of having to respond to his neurosis by the alarm. They set down their coffee cups in tandem and jogged over to the engine bay. 

“It’s going to be okay man,” Paul assured him softly as they climbed onto the rig. Carlos gave him a tight smile in response but while he appreciated his friend’s effort, he just couldn’t move past this. Not yet. 

* * *

TK entered the bullpen to applause. He was so taken aback that he froze, trapped in the entrance like a deer in the headlights. When the familiar faces of his colleagues registered he felt himself relax and smile. He held up a placating hand as he crossed to his desk, smiling at his coworkers and receiving more than one affectionate pat on the shoulder. 

He paused again when he reached his desk, or where he had at least thought his desk was. What stood in front of him now seemed more like the inside of a recycling bin on Christmas morning than any desk he had ever seen. Wrapping paper and bows covered almost every inch, save for about 8 inches on the front where a sign declaring “Welcome back Strand!” was visible. He raised a bemused eyebrow at his desk before turning his gaze the desk beside his own where Mya sat, looking like the cat that ate the canary. 

“Your doing, I assume?” 

“Why would you say that?”

“Oh I don’t know,” he said mildly, setting his coffee cup down on a corner that was relatively level, “it has a certain kind of flair that reminds me of you.” 

She chuckled, “I would be flattered, but the Lieutenant's kids were here last night and they helped. They may have gotten a little carried away,” she added with a ‘what are you going to do?’ kind of shrug. 

TK laughed appreciatively, “remind me to thank her later.” 

He located his chair between some particularly ambitious bows and pulled it out before taking a seat. Mya joined him, perching herself on the corner of his desk. She studied him intently. “How are you feeling?” she asked. 

TK rolled his eyes, “You literally saw me two days ago Mya - I’m fine. I was fine then and I am fine now. It’s fine.”

She peered at him suspiciously. “What?” he asked defensively. 

“Just wondering if maybe you were a little too quick to say how fine you are.”

“Why would I lie Mya? I’m…”

“Fine?” she suggested. 

“Yes,” he agreed firmly, “completely, totally, 100% fine.” 

She was still looking at him with a doubtful expression, so he changed the topic in self-defense: “Don’t you have a partner you’re supposed to be patrolling with?”

“ _Temporary_ partner,” Mya reminded him, “only until you’re back in the field. And that better be soon - I don’t know how much more I can take of Thad.”

“His name isn’t really Thad, is it?” 

Mya nodded solemnly, “While you’ve been out recovering I have been stuck with the latest rookie - Thaddeus Sterling, the third.” 

“You’re making that up,” TK accused. 

“I am not. I wish I was.” 

“There are two more Thaddeus Sterling’s in the world?” 

“It’s a ‘family name,’ apparently.” 

“Ouch.”

Mya rolled her eyes, “I’d feel worse for him if he wasn’t such a dense pretty boy.”

TK raised a skeptical eyebrow, “that bad?” 

“The man has been flirting with me for three straight weeks, TK. He does not understand the concept of a lesbian and the fact that I have zero interest in dating anyone of the male persuasion, let alone him. Not to mention that his entire personality revolves entirely around the fraternity he was in at UT. If I have to hear anymore about the Longhorn’s defensive game this year, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.” 

TK winced sympathetically, “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?” 

“Just get better so you can be my partner again,” Mya said with an exasperated sigh, “I can handle him, I just don’t know for how much longer.” 

Any response TK could have made was cut off when a young guy with artfully spiked hair appeared at the side of his desk. “Ready to ride Esquilin?” he asked Mya, before sparing a glance at TK. Somewhere between the wrapping paper explosion that was his desk and his proximity to Mya, something seemed to click for him. “Oh hey,” he exclaimed, turning to face TK, “You must be Strand, right? The one who got shot!” 

“Yep, that’s me,” TK confirmed. 

“That’s intense,” the kid - Thaddeus Sterling III, TK assumed - observed. “But hey, you gotta have a cool scar now, right? I bet the chicks dig it!” 

“I wouldn’t know,” TK responded drily, ignoring Mya’s dramatic eye-roll from behind Thad’s shoulder. Thad, for his part, simply looked puzzled. TK wondered if he should elaborate, but was saved the trouble by Mya slipping off his desk with a sigh, “Let’s get moving Sterling, we have work to do. And I am not ready to ride, I am ready to drive. Don’t think you’re going to pull a fast one on me.” 

As Thad walked away Mya paused to glare down at TK, “You better get well soon.” 

“You know, most people don’t make well wishes sound like a threat.”

Mya gave a significant look at Thad’s back before turning her expression back to TK with raised brows. He held up his hands in surrender, “Fine, I get it. I’ll do my best.” 

“That’s all I ask.”

“Remember, murdering your partner is bad!” TK called to her retreating back. Her only response was a rude hand gesture thrown over her shoulder. 

TK chuckled and shook his head fondly. It was nice to be back. He didn’t know what he was so worried about. It would be fine, really. 

He was so lost in thought that the slamming of a desk drawer at a nearby desk startled him back to reality. It caused him to jump and sent his heart racing. He peered around the bullpen only to see that no one else had reacted: to the slamming drawer or his reaction. He closed his eyes and took several deep, measured breaths. 

He was fine, really. 

* * *

The ladder truck arrived at the scene of a multi-vehicle accident and the crew piled out, each taking in the scene with a practiced eye. There were some scenes that you pulled up to and knew instinctively that they were going to be bad. Full of pain and suffering and images that would haunt you for days or weeks to come. 

This wasn’t one of them. 

Sure there was an alarming amount of vehicles involved but the atmosphere radiated annoyance and anger, not fear and despair. A quick survey didn’t reveal anything beyond a minor injury - Carlos hoped that maybe that could hold true. 

They split up and waded into the crowd and cars, checking in with each person, searching for anyone trapped or seriously injured. Thankfully the initial assessment proved correct and there were none. The scene still needed to be cleared and injuries needed to be looked at, but there was no immediate threat staring them down. They all got to work and Carlos found himself helping Michelle and her team with basic first aid until a familiar voice called his name. 

He turned to see Mya, a younger guy with very deliberately styled hair at her shoulder. He grinned at her as the woman he had just finished with jumped off the gurney serving as his exam table. “Hey Mya, how’s it going?” 

She raised an eyebrow as she drew closer, “My day is fine, but that’s not what you're asking, is it?” 

He gave her a sheepish grin and she rolled her eyes but answered his unasked question: “He seems fine. He says he’s fine.” 

“What do you think?” 

She shrugged, “Too soon to tell, but I don’t see any reason not to believe him. If he says he’s fine, then he probably is.”

The younger guy pulled level with them and looked between them suggestively, “Someone you need to introduce me to, Partner?” 

Carlos’s eyebrows rose as Mya heaved an exasperated sigh, “Carlos, this is Thad - my temporary partner. Thad, this is Carlos - TK’s boyfriend.” 

Thad looked puzzled and Mya rolled her eyes at him, “You know, TK. My regular partner: has been out on medical leave, you met him this morning?” 

“Yeah, I remember,” he said “I just thought that you two…” he trailed off suggestively and Mya took a deep, measured breath. 

“No, we are not. I don’t like men, remember? We’ve been over this like, 5 times.”

“Huh,” was all he said and seemed to be seriously considering this information. Mya gave Carlos an exasperated look and gave Thad a nudge. “Go find something to help with,” she instructed with a gesture towards the accident scene, “I’ll be along in a moment.” 

He obliged with a parting wave to Carlos and they watched him leave before Carlos spoke, “he seems like fun.” 

“Oh yeah, a barrel of laughs,” Mya deadpanned. 

“His name isn’t really Thad, is it?” 

“Thaddeus Sterling III.” 

“You’re making that up.” 

Mya rolled her eyes, “I swear you two are the same person, it’s ridiculous.” 

Carlos frowned at her, “Me and Thaddeus?”

She swatted at him, “No! You and TK. I had the exact same conversation with him this morning. You two are so alike sometimes it’s scary.”

Carlos laughed appreciatively before the mention of TK’s return to work reminded him of his concerns. “You really think he’s okay?” he asked Mya again. 

She shrugged, “He seems to be. Only time will really tell, but right now he seems fine. Almost like nothing happened.” 

Mya’s name was called and they both looked over towards the accident scene to see Thad waving his hands in the air and looking far too pleased with himself. Mya sighed again, “I better go see what he wants. Hopefully, he didn’t break anything this time. The faster TK is back in the field the better; I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” she flicked her gaze back to Carlos, “Catch up with you later?” 

He nodded and gave her a smile that she returned before striding off to find Thad. The moment she was gone Carlos let the smile slip. He knew Mya would never put TK at risk and would never push him to do anything before he was ready, but their conversation had filled him with dread. 

He shook it off and pulled himself up straighter. He had a job to do now - he could go back to worrying about his boyfriend later. 

* * *

“Please, take a seat, Officer Strand.” 

TK sank into the chair indicated and watched as the department psychologist - a woman in her mid-40s - settled into one across from him, crossing her legs neatly at the knees and balancing a clipboard in her lap. 

“Have you ever participated in any kind of therapy before, Officer Strand?” 

TK nodded, “I have been seeing a therapist off and one since I was about 16.” 

The psychologist - Dr. Said - nodded and gave a small smile, “Good, then you should be fairly familiar with how this works. That should make this easier - people who have never done any form of therapy often take a while to feel comfortable enough to effectively share.” 

TK nodded and drummed his fingers, waiting for the doctor to lay the groundwork. As the silence dragged on he could feel his anxiety growing. “So how does this work?” he finally blurted out, caving to the crushing silence. 

Today we are just going to have a chat. This is considered the beginning of your probationary period, for lack of a better word - of being cleared for full and active duty. We will meet once more toward the middle of this mandated time, and then once again at the end. Then my reports and recommendations, along with your doctor, and your Captain will all be reviewed and a determination for your fitness to serve - both physically and mentally - will be made.” 

TK nodded, running all the steps and names through his head once again. “How long does this usually take?” he asked. Dr. Said shrugged, “somewhere between 2-4 weeks. Since your injury was severe I would say that your case will be pushed out closer to the 4 weeks mark so everyone can feel certain about their findings.” 

TK nodded. He glanced around the office, avoiding the doctor’s piercing gaze as he asked the question he truly dreaded: “and if I am not deemed fit to serve?” 

Dr. Said readjusted her clipboard and uncapped her pen, “Then alternate options will be discussed at that time. But let’s get started before you start jumping to worse case scenarios. It won’t do any good to dwell on them.”

TK nodded and Dr. Said continued, peering at him over her clipboard, pen poised and ready: “Now,” she asked, “what can you tell me about the night of the incident?” 

TK swallowed. This was not going to be fun, at all. 

* * *

Carlos entered his house to find the light already on and upbeat music drifting from the kitchen. He smiled as he dropped his bag by the door, kicking off his shoes and heading towards the noise and his boyfriend. He turned the corner to find TK bobbing his head to the music as he pulled plates out of the cupboard, turning and setting them down beside a platter of food on the counter. Carlos crossed the room and found TK’s phone on the counter. He reached across and using the side buttons, lowered the volume. 

TK spun around as the music faded, but his surprised look faded into one of pleasure when he noticed Carlos. 

“Hey babe,” he said, crossing the room to give Carlos a kiss, “I didn’t hear you come in.”

Carlos raised a single eyebrow, “I’m not surprised. I don’t know how you can hear anything with the music that loud. I _am_ surprised the neighbors didn’t call to complain.” 

TK waved off his concerns, “They’re fine. Besides, the windows are shut so there is no way they should have heard that. My phone speaker is not _that_ powerful.”

Carlos rolled his eyes and then narrowed them when he noticed the food. “You didn’t cook, did you?” he asked, glancing around the kitchen, “I don’t see any scorch marks.” 

TK put a hand over his heart, “Ye of little faith!” he exclaimed dramatically, “do you really think I cannot manage even a basic dinner without property damage?” 

“Yes,” Carlos deadpanned, “because I have extensive experience to prove that point. Do I need to remind you of the breakfast in bed incident?” 

“That was not my fault,” TK said quickly, “but no, I did not cook. I ordered this from that Korean place you like.”

Carlos chuckled and leaned down to place a kiss on the side of TK’s neck, “my hero.” 

TK laughed lightly but reached forward to grab the food. “Can you grab the plates? We should get to this before it gets cold.” Carlos obliged and once they were settled at the table with full plates, he asked the question that had been eating at him all day.

“How was your first day back?” he hoped his voice didn’t betray any of the anxiety he had felt all day. 

TK shrugged and she scooped some rice onto his fork, “Pretty uneventful. Mya wrapped my desk in wrapping paper, and then I had to spend all day at it doing paperwork.” At Carlos’s raised eyebrow he added, “I took off the wrapping paper halfway through the day, the crinkling was driving me nuts.” 

Carlos grinned, “I ran into Mya today actually. Met her new partner.” 

“Temporary partner,” TK corrected quickly, like a reflex. 

“Right,” Carlos amended, “temporary partner. Did you get to talk to him at all? He seems…”

“Interesting?” TK provided. 

“That’s one way to put it.” 

TK nodded, “She can’t stand him. She keeps telling me I need to get back out into the field before she snaps and murders him.” 

There is silence in the wake of the quip, as they both realize the elephant in the room has just been brought into the light. _Back in the field_ is a statement that haunts both of them, for different reasons. 

“I had my psych eval today,” TK blurted out, cutting through the silence. 

Carlos looked up from his food, “You didn't say anything about it before,” he noted. He kept his face neutral while all the while his mind raced with implications. 

TK shrugged, “I didn’t really know what to tell. I wasn’t sure if it was a one and done kind of thing of if it was a process. Turns out, it’s a process.” 

TK’s voice was neutral, but Carlos knew him well enough to know that it was forced. He wasn’t feeling as calm about this as he was letting on, but Carlos wasn’t sure why. 

“What kind of process?” 

TK sighed, leaning back in his chair as he explained, “It’s going to take 3-4 weeks, at least two more meetings with the department psychologist, a recommendation from my Captain, and then they all have to agree on it. But it’s pointless, there’s nothing to agree on - I’m fine.” 

Carlos considered that before he spoke. He noted that TK’s posture was anything but relaxed. His arms were crossed so tightly against his chest Carlos wondered about the possibility of bruising. He was tapping his foot against the floor in a light staccato pattern. Carlos liked to think he had come to know TK Strand fairly well over the past few months, and this was not TK Strand relaxed. 

“Isn’t that a good thing though?” he asked eventually, “Isn’t it for the best to make sure, isn’t it smart to be absolutely sure that all the officers in the department are at the top of their game? Letting someone in the field who’s not ready to be there, that could lead to problems. It could be dangerous, for both the cop and anyone else involved. Isn't it better not to risk that?” 

TK shrugged, but Carlos could see some of the tension leaving his body, “You’re right,” he agreed, “but it’s still frustrating. I’m fine.” 

Carlos nodded. He turned his attention back to his dinner, but not before adding one last thought: “It’s okay to not be fine yet Ty.” 

TK met his gaze for a moment before looking away quickly. “I know,” he replied softly, “but I am.”

Carlos gave him a smile but as they turned back to their meal in silence he couldn’t shake the feeling that TK was lying.

* * *

TK entered the break room the next morning to find Detective Caldwell pouring himself a cup of coffee. The detective looked up at the sound of the door opening and his expression split into a grin when he saw TK. 

“Officer Strand,” he said in a cheery tone, “it is good to see you back at work and in one piece.”

TK returned his smile, “Thanks, it’s good to be back.” 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here to welcome you back yesterday, how was the first day back?”

“Pretty lowkey,” TK responded with a shrug.

“I would hope so,” Caldwell said with a nod, “I bet your partner is happy to have you back.” 

“She’s thrilled. She’s counting down the days until I am able to go back into the field.” 

He had hoped to maintain the bravado, but something in the way Caldwell looked at him told him that he had been less than successful.

“You know,” the detective said, leaning back on the counter of the breakroom, “I’ve been on the force a long time. I’ve seen a lot of officers get injured in the line of duty. It’s not at all uncommon for them to be hesitant about getting back out there. It’s perfectly normal, actually.” 

TK shook his head, “no, that’s not it. 

“Then what is it?” 

When TK seemed hesitant to talk, the detective sighed, “Kid, I have been doing this for far, far too many years. What is the point of all this experience if I can’t help out the younger generation?” When TK remained silent he added, “you might think it doesn’t make any sense, but you’d be surprised how many people would make sense if we all shared what we are thinking.”

“I’m not scared to go back into the field,” TK finally said. “It’s not like I didn’t know about the risks and I survived so it’s fine. Besides the odds of it happening again...well I’m not great at math but I have a friend who assures me those odds are astronomical.”

Caldwell nodded, “So if it’s not fear then…”

“Do you ever wonder if you’ve made the right choices?” TK blurted out, “Like, you wonder if you are actually where you are supposed to be in life?” 

A look of understanding entered the detective’s eyes and TK couldn’t help but wonder what the older man understood, because he didn’t understand any of this. 

“You’re what, 25?” Caldwell asked. 

“26,” TK corrected. 

He nodded, “26 years old, have been a cop since you were...what 21, 22?” 

At TK’s nod, he continued, “That’s a pretty sizable chunk of your life, at your age. It’s only natural to have those doubts, especially after something so traumatic. Is there something else you feel like you’re supposed to be doing; any calling you feel like you missed?” 

TK shrugged, “Not that I can think of. I mean, I have wanted to be a cop since I was 12. My dad’s a firefighter and I admire him, but I decided I didn’t want to _be_ him. But I still wanted to help people so...cop,” he finished with another shrug.” 

Caldwell nodded, “so your driving force is what – helping people?”

TK nodded.

“Do you still feel like you’re doing that as a police officer?”

“Yes, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s enough. I feel like maybe I could do more.”

Caldwell shrugged, “Maybe you could and that is certainly something to consider. Is there any way that maybe you could find a way to do more good and still stay on the force?”

TK sighed and shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Maybe that’s an answer you need to find before you make any major life choices.” He let TK consider for a minute before he spoke again, “What does your partner say about this?”

“I haven’t exactly mentioned any of it to her yet.”

“Any particular reason why not?”

“No? I don’t know. She had enough going on with Thad and adjusting to that, she doesn’t need anything else on her plate.”

Caldwell studied him for a moment before speaking, “I didn’t think I would ever have to tell you this, but you should give her more credit. She’s pretty capable and if it’s something she can’t deal with, she’ll let you know.”

TK sighed, “You’re right.”

The detective nodded firmly, “I know I am. I don’t think that you two are the best patrol officers on the force just because.”

There was silence again before TK asked another question, “why, then?”

Caldwell looked confused, “why what?” 

“Why do you think so highly of me? Of us?”

The detective was silent for a moment as he seemed to be trying to choose the right words.

“There are a lot of reasons actually. You’re both calm and compassionate, you always give people the benefit of the doubt. But most of all it’s because you respect the job more than the uniform.” 

“What’s the difference?” TK asked, puzzled. 

“The job is the people we help, the people we protect. The uniform is just a uniform. It’s a symbol, nothing more.” 

TK nodded and Caldwell gathered up his coffee mug. He started for the door but paused, turning to face TK again. 

“Can I offer you one more piece of advice?”

At TK’s answering nod, he continued, “Talk to your partner before you make any big decisions. Your choices affect her too, and she knows you pretty well. She just might have some insight that surprises you.” 

With that and a parting wave, Detective Caldwell was gone and TK was left standing in an empty breakroom with some answers, and new questions. 

* * *

Carlos had pulled the proverbial short straw and had gotten stuck with mopping out the engine bay. Normally he didn’t mind because it gave him a chance to be alone with his thoughts. Today, that opportunity is not so welcoming. He had resigned himself to the inevitable, so to say he was surprised when his Captain appeared at his side would be an understatement. 

He raised an inquisitive eyebrow, “Cap?”

“I need a break from paperwork,” Owen announced, “got another one of those things lying around?” 

He had gestured at the mop and Carlos shot him a skeptical look before gesturing to the supply closet on the left-hand wall. Owen followed his directions and returned a moment later with a second mop. He dunked it into the bucket and caught Carlos’s expression as he wrung it out. “What?” he asked cheerfully, “if it’s good enough for my team, it’s good enough for me, right?” 

Carlos chuckled and shook his head, but didn’t argue. Mopping the engine bay was not an easy task and he wasn’t about to turn down any help, no matter how strange it was. They mopped in silence for several minutes before Owen spoke. 

“Carlos, I hope you know I wouldn’t ask you to give me any information or ask you any uncomfortable questions about TK. He’s my son, but he’s your boyfriend and as your boss, I want to keep those lines clear.” 

Carlos paused in his mopping, watching Owen as he spoke. “But you’re worried about him,” he concluded. 

Owen paused as well and looked at him. “I am. He keeps telling me he’s fine and he might be, but I know my son and he has a history of hiding things from me to keep me from worrying. So if you think there is something I need to know...”

“I’ll let you know,” Carlos promised, “really. I don’t want to see him taking on more than he is ready for and if it comes down to a full-blown intervention, then so be it.”

Owen looked at him for a long moment before he said, “I’m so glad he has you, Carlos. I don’t think I could have asked for anyone better for my son.” 

Carlos met Owen’s eyes for a moment before he shifted his gaze down to the mop to hide the blush coloring his cheeks, “He’s good for me too.” 

They mopped in silence for several more moments before Carlos finally gave voice to the thoughts rattling around in his mind. “Can I switch the topic to something else personal?” 

Owen paused and gave him a ‘go ahead’ gesture. Carlos swallowed before continuing, “I couldn’t help but notice that you didn’t eat anything during lunch, or at dinner yesterday,” he continued when it looked like Owen was going to interrupt, “if I had to make a guess based on the available evidence, I would say that the chemo has been hitting you pretty hard lately.”

Their eyes met and Owen made no attempt to deny it. Carlos nodded, “I figured as much. The only puzzling thing is that TK hasn't mentioned anything about it, which leaves me to wonder if he knows.” 

Owen shifted, tossing the mop back and forth between his hands, “he has a lot on his plate right now, he doesn’t need to be worrying about things he can’t control.”

Carlos sighed. He had figured as much, “You’re right, he does have a lot on his plate. But helping you is something he would make room for.”

“I know he would,” Owen agreed, voice low, “but he shouldn’t have to. It’s my job to take care of him, not the other way around. I can handle this; he doesn’t need to know about it.” 

Carlos studied his Captain for a moment. He could see how much this affected him, how badly he wanted to not have to burden his son. But he could also see the physical effects of the chemo - they were subtle, but there. He was afraid that at some point Owen wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore and TK would find out in the worst way.

He also knew how stubborn the Strand men could be from personal experience and knew that arguing with him would not change his mind. Instead, he left him with a question to ponder before returning to the task at hand:

“What do you think would make him feel worse: the fact that you’re struggling or the fact that you were struggling and hid it from him to protect him?” 

Owen didn’t say anything in return but as he returned to mopping his half of the floor, he could tell that his Captain was thinking about his words. 

* * *

Carlos could practically hear TK’s mind racing.

His thoughts were loud in the silence of the bedroom. His questions and fears and doubts drowned out the sound of traffic from the street, of the crickets in the backyard.

“I can hear you thinking,” Carlos announced after a while. 

“Sorry,” TK mumbled, running a hand down his face, “I just...I have a lot on my mind.” 

Carlos rolled over so he was facing TK and waited for his boyfriend to do the same. When they were facing each other Carlos raised an eyebrow, “Want to talk about some of it?” he asked, “I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener.” 

“Oh yeah?” TK countered, “who told you that?”

“You, actually.” When TK was silent Carlos reached out a hand which he lightly ran down his right arm, “C’mon Ty, let me in. What’s going on in that head of yours?” 

TK sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again he met Carlos’s gaze and began speaking, “I’ve just had some...doubts about returning to work.” 

Carlos nodded - he had figured as much. “What kind of doubts?” he prompted gently. 

“Am I doing the right thing, is this what I’m meant to be doing with my life, would I do more good somewhere else, is it worth all the pain it caused the people I love?”

Carlos sucked in a breath, “Ty…” he began gently, but TK interrupted.

“But it’s stupid because I’m _fine_. I’m okay and I’m alive. I’ve made a complete recovery - I don’t even have the nightmares anymore. I’m fine, so I don’t know why I feel like I am not sometimes.” 

“I’m no expert,” Carlos said after a minute of consideration, “but I think you’re allowed to be a little confused after going through something like that. And you don’t have to have all the answers right away, so let’s take it just one question at a time, yeah?”

TK nodded and Carlos began going through the list, “Are you doing the right thing – what is wrong about what you’re doing? Is there something you’re concerned about, something you think is not good?”

TK shrugged, “I don’t really know. It’s just something I’ve been wondering about.”

Carlos nodded, “Okay. Is there something else you feel like you should be doing instead? Because if there is, I support you. If there isn’t, I still support you.”

TK didn’t answer. Instead, he looked up at Carlos with a sad smile, “What did I do to ever deserve someone like you?”

Carlos shrugged, “Nothing as impressive as what I must have done to deserve you.”

TK smiled at him – a soft, warm smile full of affection – before returning to the question: “I really don’t have an answer to that yet Carlos. It’s just…something I’m thinking about.”

Carlos nodded and moved his hand from TK’s arm to his bare chest. He ran his hand across it, lightly running his fingers across the skin until he reached the puckered scar, just over his heart. It had become something of a ritual for Carlos in the time that had passed. He ran his hand over it, tracing the lines. He knew every bump and ridge of the scar tissue. He knew every millimeter of this healed wound. He knew its size and relative location to disaster; he knew just how close they had come to losing him – how close they had been to losing this.

He used this scar to remind him, to prevent him from forgetting how precious each and every moment with this man was.

“As for the last one,” Carlos said, “I can’t speak for everyone, but it’s no secret I’m scared.” He paused and TK looked at him with sad eyes. He leaned over and kissed him lightly on the forehead, “But I’ll always be just a little bit scared of losing you, no matter what you do. And we can’t dwell on that. You need to do what you think is right, what makes you happy. I need you to be happy. Everything after that is just extra.”

There was silence again before TK spoke, voice soft. “Thanks, Carlos,” he said, moving closer and tucking himself into Carlos’s chest. Carlos wrapped his arms around him and held him tight, placing a kiss on top of his head. 

“I’m always here for you Tyler, you just need to tell me when.” 

* * *

“Hey Mya, can I talk to you about something?”

Mya looked up from her desk in surprise. At the sight of TK standing in front of her, anxious expression and nervous stance, she frowned. She glanced over at the desk diagonally from hers, “Hey, Sterling. I have to step out for a minute, call me if anything comes up.”

As soon as Thad indicated that he had heard she stood up and followed TK out of the bullpen. She followed him through the doors of the precinct, to the picnic tables on the side lawn. Once they were sitting, she started, “Is everything okay? There weren’t any complications were there? Did something happen at your psych eval?”

“Woah,” TK said, holding up a hand, “slow down for a second. I’m fine, nothing’s wrong.”

Mya peered at him suspiciously, “Then why do you look like you’re about to tell me your dog died.”

TK sighed, “Since I’ve come back from medical leave, I’ve…had some doubts and as my partner, it’s only fair I share with you.”

Now Mya was frowning at him in earnest, “What kind of doubts?”

“Like quarter-life crisis kind of doubts?”

“I’m going to need you to be more specific.”

“Ever since the incident,” TK began, “every time I thought about coming back to work I wondered if it was the right thing. I became a cop to do good, to help people, and I was starting to wonder if I was actually doing that. But I figured it would go away once I got back into it.”

“But it didn’t.”

“No,” he sighed, “it didn’t. I just keep wondering if this is what I’m meant to do. I became a cop to help people. The rest of it – the gun, the uniform – doesn’t matter to me. Which makes me wonder if being a cop is the best way to achieve my goals, to make the difference I think I can make.”

He stops speaking, gives her a chance to process. When she stays silent he continues, voice softer this time, “but you are still my partner, and that means something. I don’t want to just abandon you. I guess…I guess I wanted to give you a heads up, see if maybe you had some words of wisdom to offer.”

She’s quiet again and TK is beginning to wonder if she is even listening when she finally speaks.

“You do know that there is more to the APD than just being patrol officers, right?”

“What?” he asks, startled by both her voice and the change in topic.

“You know I’m here for the same reason – it’s one of the reasons we work so well together. We are both in this to help people. I don’t need to patrol a beat to feel like I’m doing that. There are all sorts of other departments and task forces that work directly with the community, that try to reach vulnerable people. There are other ways of doing this job and being more effective.”

TK stared at her. “But,” he said eventually, “you want to be a Captain someday. Changing your assignment now could…”

“There’s more than one way up,” she interrupted, “and who knows – maybe if we try something new, I’ll find that I want that more. Even if I don’t, it’s not like I have a 5-year plan or anything. Everything happens for a reason, right? Maybe this is all part of that.”

TK just stared at her. “You don’t have to—” he started to say, but she interrupted him again.

“I know I don’t have to, but like you said, you’re my partner. We work well together, and we have the same goals. If you feel like you can do more good doing something else, who am I to argue? I trust you TK. I’m your partner, and I will always have your back - just like you have mine.” 

He gazed at her across the table. He didn’t have any words to express what he was feeling right now, but he knew that he had gotten beyond lucky when he had been paired with Mya Esquilin upon his arrival in Austin. He reached across the table to grab one of her hands, squeezing it and hoping that she could understand all the words he couldn’t say.

Judging by the smile he got back, she did.

“Now,” she said, switching to a more business-like tone, “We’ve decided to blow up our careers – how do we go about that?”

TK considered, and then smiled: “I think I know someone who can help.”

* * *

“Reyes, your boy is here!” 

Carlos looked up from where he was helping Paul with maintenance on the engine to see an exasperated Judd escorting TK into the engine bay. He could hear TK needling him even from across the room. 

“Oh c’mon Judd, you know you missed me.” 

“You ain’t been gone long enough to miss yet kid.” 

TK scoffed, “Please, like we don’t all know you’re a big softy. Besides, I know you like me.” 

“Whoever told you that is a liar.”

“Judd I’m surprised at you - would you really call your own wife a liar?”

Judd rolled his eyes hard enough Carlos was mildly surprised that they didn’t get stuck in his head, “I thought now you’ve got back to work we had gotten rid of you.” 

“You can’t get rid of family Judd!” TK exclaimed with false outrage. At Judd’s answering unimpressed look he raised an eyebrow, “What, like your Captain is going to throw me out? Face it, Cowboy; you’re stuck with me.”

Judd groaned and sent a pleading look to Carlos, “Please get him away from me.”

Carlos shook his head and Paul chuckled from beside him, “Who do you think you’re fooling Judd? We all know you have a soft spot for the kid.” 

Judd muttered something under his breath and then he was gone. TK turned to Paul and Carlos with a shit-eating grin. Carlos rolled his eyes, “Would it kill you to not antagonize him?”

“It just might, so we better not risk it,” TK said solemnly, a mischievous glint in his eyes. He turned his attention to Paul before either of them could comment, “How’s it going, Strickland?”

Paul shrugged non-committedly, “Not too bad. How’s work?” 

TK’s smile faltered ever so slightly, “It’s been an adjustment, but it’s good. Mya asked me to say hello, by the way.”

Carlos raised an eyebrow, “What, no hello for me?”

Paul elbowed him, “Face it, man, I’m the favorite.”

TK shrugged, “I guess that just means you’re stuck with me.”

Carlos grinned and reached to pull TK closer, drawing him into a kiss. When the pulled apart he smiled, “I guess I can live with that.”

Paul shook his head and set down his tools, “Yeah, I’m out. You two have a way of reminding a person of how depressingly single he is.”

TK chuckled at Paul’s retreating back and Carlos set down the tools he had been holding. “Did you really come all the way to see me on your day off?”

“As much as I love getting to look at you – and believe me, I do – I didn’t come here to see you.” 

Carlos grinned at him. He leaned forward to give him another kiss on the cheek before answering his unasked question, “Cap’s up in his office.” 

TK returned his smile, “Thanks. I’m taking him to his chemo appointment. I guess he’s been having some really bad symptoms lately so I am going with him to make sure he’s alright and see if I can talk to the doctors about maybe changing his medication.”

Carlos smiled softly, taking one of TK’s hands in his own, “He’s lucky to have you.”

TK shrugged, “I’m pretty lucky to have him. And you,” he added leaning forward to give him another kiss. When they pulled apart he looked towards the stairs, “I should go. I don’t know how he’ll be feeling after this appointment so I might end up staying with him tonight, but if not I’ll see you later.”

“Why don’t I just come there,” Carlos suggested, “I can make dinner for all of us. Even if he’s feeling fine, it could be nice.”

“Have I mentioned lately how wonderful you are Carlos Reyes?”

Carlos shrugged, “Yes, but it never hurts to hear it again.”

“Well you are a wonder, Carlos Reyes, and I love you for it.”

Carlos felt his breathing hitch from those words. It wasn’t the first time they had said them, but each time felt like a miracle to Carlos. They stole his breath each and every time.

“And I love you too,” he said once he had managed to find his air again. “Go get your dad or you’ll be late.”

TK did, stepping away from him and heading to the stairs. He reappeared a few minutes later with Captain Strand in tow. The Captain and Carlos made eye contact for a moment, and Owen nodded. Carlos smiled. Then the Strand men were gone, and Carlos headed to the kitchen in pursuit of Paul.

* * *

“You ready for this?” Mya asked as they met up outside of City Hall.

TK looked up at the imposing building with all its strange severe angles and shrugged, “As ready as I’ll ever be I guess, considering that this was my idea and if goes terribly I will not only have ruined my career but also have dragged you down with me.”

Mya raised an eyebrow, “A simple ‘no’ would have sufficed.”

TK gave a nervous laugh, “What did we get ourselves into?” he asked, aware that his voice edged on hysteria.

“First of all, this was all your buddy Caldwell’s doing, so I don’t know how much ‘we’ goes into this. Secondly, I think this will be a good thing. You know, as soon as we actually go inside and aren’t late for our first day.”

TK nodded, but he couldn’t quite bring his feet to move. When TK had approached Detective Caldwell again after his talk with Mya, the detective had been very eager to inform him that there was a new task force he had just been approached by and that he would be thrilled to put their names forward. Caldwell hadn’t been kidding when he told TK he had been on the force forever and he apparently carried enough clout that within the week two fairly young and unknown patrol officers – with impeccable records, granted – were invited to join the Commissioner’s new task force on reform and community outreach.

Their new job would be to act as liaisons between the city, the police department, and the people of Austin. It meant traveling to communities and community meetings, sitting down with community leaders, and finding out what needed to be changed. Then they, and a few other officers, would find a way to make it happen before presenting it to the review board and then the city council, where it could become department and city policy.

TK had never seen himself in government work, but this felt right. Making sure that the voices of the community he was supposed to serve were heard seemed like a good cause. He just hoped Mya agreed. So far, she seemed thrilled.

“I should say thank you,” she said, interrupting TK’s thoughts.

He looked over at her, startled. “Thank you for what?”

“For saying something, for suggesting a change. I never would have committed to it on my own, but you were right. I was feeling the same way, I just didn’t have a near-death experience to force myself to confront it.”

“I’m glad me getting shot was so convenient for you.”

She scowled at him and whacked him on the arm, “I’m trying to be serious here, could you not be an ass for like, thirty seconds?”

He nodded, “but only thirty seconds.”

She shook her head mournfully, “and you’re the idiot I’ve entrusted my career to.”

“What happened to thanking me?”

“I momentarily forgot who I was talking to.”

TK chuckled and she cracked a smile as she spoke again, “I do mean it though – I think this is going to be good for us. I think this is going to be good for the city. I think that maybe, we can actually make a difference.”

“I hope so,” TK agreed quietly. “I suppose there’s only one way to find out though.”

He stepped forward and pulled open the door to City Hall, “After you, partner.”

Mya flashed a smile at him as she slipped through the doorway, “And don’t you forget it. You’re stuck with me Strand.”

TK shrugged as he followed her inside, “I think I’ll live.”

* * *

Carlos’s car slowed to a stop in an empty field and he reached forward to switch off the ignition. TK looked at their surroundings skeptically, “Are you planning on murdering me?” 

Carlos looked up sharply, “What? No. Why would you ask that?” 

“Because you brought me out to a deserted field in the middle of the night with no witnesses and plenty of places to dump a body.” 

Carlos rolled his eyes, “No, I did not bring you out here to murder you. Besides, if I really wanted to dump a body, there are plenty of places closer to home I’d try before this.” 

“Well isn’t that comforting,” TK noted as he looked around, “so if it’s not to dispose of a body, why are we here?” 

“We are here,” Carlos announced as he opened his door, “because you’ve lived in Texas for a while now, but I think there is still one more thing that it has to offer that New York could never compare.”

TK raised an eyebrow, “What’s with the sales pitch, you think I’m planning on leaving? I hate to break it to you Reyes, but you’re stuck with me.”

Carlos reached across the gear shift to gather TK’s hand in his own. “Good,” he said as he squeezed it, “I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now come on, there’s something I want to show you.”

He climbed out of the car and walked towards the hood of the car. TK followed suit, grumbling all the way, “What could you possibly want to show me out here. There is nothing for…” but he trailed off as he followed Carlos’s gaze upward.

“Oh,” he breathed, eyes wide as he took in the clear, star filled sky. 

“I’m not sure how true it is, but I’ve heard that you can’t see too many stars in New York because of light pollution. Even in Austin it can be kind of hard. But out here, there’s not a light for miles and well,” he trailed off gesturing to the sight before them. TK was still gaping up at the sky. When he turned away he found Carlos gazing not up at the stars, but at him. 

“What are you looking at?” 

“Something beautiful.” 

TK rolled his eyes, but couldn’t deny the blush he could feel creeping up his neck, “Did you drag me all the way out here just so you could use that line?”

Carlos wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer, “I dragged you out here because this is beautiful, and you deserve nice things. I also wanted to remind you that there are really good things in the world - I know you sometimes doubt that with everything you see it work. And yeah,” he added as an afterthought, “the line didn’t hurt. I know you are a sucker for a good one-liner.” 

“Oh I am?” 

“You are.” 

“Did you ever think that maybe it’s not your lines?” TK asked him, holding his warm gaze, “Did you ever consider that maybe it’s you I’m a sucker for?” 

Now it was Carlos’s turn to look away, turning his gaze back up to the stars. TK gave a light laugh and leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. 

“Thank you for this,” he said, “you’re right, sometimes with everything at work and in my head, I can forget that the world is actually a pretty wonderful place.”

“Good,” Carlos said softly, “because you deserve all the wonder in the world.” 

“Well then it’s a good thing I have you then,” he said warmly, leaning closer and resting his head on Carlos’s shoulder. Carlos shook his head, but there was a fond smile on his face.

“You are such a sap, who would have guessed?” TK smiled, and they lapsed into a comfortable silence. 

If the past few months had shown him anything it was that life held just as many mysteries as the night sky. You never knew what was going to happen next; there were no guarantees. But with the right person beside you, it became a little easier, a little less terrifying. There was a comfort in not being out in the unknown alone. Whatever may come TK knew he wouldn’t have to face it alone. He had his dad, he had Mya. He had people on his side.

But most of all, he had Carlos, and that was worth everything in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](https://brilliantbanshee.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](https://brillliantbanshee.tumblr.com/) to give me more prompts!


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